[ And that's just Ben all over, isn't it? Pretend something isn't happening, for as long as he possibly can? Shut out everything unpleasant and bury himself in whatever daydream or book he could get his hands on, because confronting reality is just too painful? How many times had Vanya known him to do this; to shut down the conversations the others would start about where their powers came from, or similar. So often, when it came to things that were potentially awful, Ben just tried not to engage.
Of course, that hadn't kept him safe, in the end...
He's trying to be different, now. At least, where it matters. As nice as it would be, to just keep it a secret what he and Diego and Klaus know about what Vanya did... avoiding it would only make the problem fester. So Ben keeps on scrubbing that section of wall, saying plainly: ]
I mean back home. We're not from the same time, technically. I came here from about two days in the future, compared to you. And... some things happened in those two days and I just - I don't want you to think I'm hiding things from you, Vanya.
[ Unspoken, but heavy between them, is the implication. Others who have hidden things from Vanya. I don't want to be like Dad. I don't want to be like Leonard. ]
So- I wanted to offer to tell you. If you want to know how it all works out. That way you know it's not a secret, and- you don't feel left out. I hope.
[ He doesn't need to say, either, the particular sensitivity that Vanya has to being excluded. Ben hadn't seen it so clearly, when they were kids. Back then he'd been blinded by his own envy of her and how badly he wished he could escape that in-group. Later, though. After years had passed and he'd matured, had read her book and seen how she saw herself and all of them and life in that house... he understands more fully, now. ]
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[ And that's just Ben all over, isn't it? Pretend something isn't happening, for as long as he possibly can? Shut out everything unpleasant and bury himself in whatever daydream or book he could get his hands on, because confronting reality is just too painful? How many times had Vanya known him to do this; to shut down the conversations the others would start about where their powers came from, or similar. So often, when it came to things that were potentially awful, Ben just tried not to engage.
Of course, that hadn't kept him safe, in the end...
He's trying to be different, now. At least, where it matters. As nice as it would be, to just keep it a secret what he and Diego and Klaus know about what Vanya did... avoiding it would only make the problem fester. So Ben keeps on scrubbing that section of wall, saying plainly: ]
I mean back home. We're not from the same time, technically. I came here from about two days in the future, compared to you. And... some things happened in those two days and I just - I don't want you to think I'm hiding things from you, Vanya.
[ Unspoken, but heavy between them, is the implication. Others who have hidden things from Vanya. I don't want to be like Dad. I don't want to be like Leonard. ]
So- I wanted to offer to tell you. If you want to know how it all works out. That way you know it's not a secret, and- you don't feel left out. I hope.
[ He doesn't need to say, either, the particular sensitivity that Vanya has to being excluded. Ben hadn't seen it so clearly, when they were kids. Back then he'd been blinded by his own envy of her and how badly he wished he could escape that in-group. Later, though. After years had passed and he'd matured, had read her book and seen how she saw herself and all of them and life in that house... he understands more fully, now. ]