[ It is so jarring to see Diego physically fighting back against their father. There had been tension, ready to bubble over at any moment, screaming and cold remarks, punishments and manipulation and mess. But Diego had never struck like this, never defended him in this way. Of course, Reginald had never tried to grab him in this way. But then, he hadn't needed to. He had had other ways of making Ben do whatever he wanted.
This version of Reginald does stumble, but not get completely off-balance. It's Diego he goes for next, and Ben moves without thinking. His fist arcs out and he absolutely clocks this fake version of Reginald on the jaw. It hurts way way more than Ben had expected, and he's cradling his hand against his chest even as he gasps: ]
C'mon, we should run -
[ He'd seen these things change their mind, their form, to be more deadly, and Ben doesn't want to wait for that to happen. At his brother's side, the two of them make a break for it, tearing down corridors and down stairs until they are a healthy distance away.
There's a stitch in Ben's side as he half-collapses against a wall, throat tight with tears he's trying not to shed as all of it comes crashing in around him. Even knowing it was an illusion, hearing all that again, those familiar long-ago words burned into his brain about what a monster he was, has him reeling badly. ]
Fuck.
[ All he wants is to be strong like Diego. To not be affected by it. Intellectually he knows what a bad person their father was. And yet, the ache is there in his chest, awful and yawning. Wanting to be loved. Hating himself for not being worth loving. Believing that all the work he's done to convince himself his father was wrong about him was just delusional self-flattery, and Reginald was right all this time. That the ugly truth is, even if his siblings were mistreated unfairly, that he deserved everything done to him.
Ben's face is crumpling even as he fights tears, and he wipes them away with the hand he had not used to punch. He tries to play off all his catastrophic emotional turmoil and distress as mere physical pain, choking out: ]
I think I sprained my hand.
[ Can a person even do that? Who cares. He's sure Diego won't believe a word of it. ]
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This version of Reginald does stumble, but not get completely off-balance. It's Diego he goes for next, and Ben moves without thinking. His fist arcs out and he absolutely clocks this fake version of Reginald on the jaw. It hurts way way more than Ben had expected, and he's cradling his hand against his chest even as he gasps: ]
C'mon, we should run -
[ He'd seen these things change their mind, their form, to be more deadly, and Ben doesn't want to wait for that to happen. At his brother's side, the two of them make a break for it, tearing down corridors and down stairs until they are a healthy distance away.
There's a stitch in Ben's side as he half-collapses against a wall, throat tight with tears he's trying not to shed as all of it comes crashing in around him. Even knowing it was an illusion, hearing all that again, those familiar long-ago words burned into his brain about what a monster he was, has him reeling badly. ]
Fuck.
[ All he wants is to be strong like Diego. To not be affected by it. Intellectually he knows what a bad person their father was. And yet, the ache is there in his chest, awful and yawning. Wanting to be loved. Hating himself for not being worth loving. Believing that all the work he's done to convince himself his father was wrong about him was just delusional self-flattery, and Reginald was right all this time. That the ugly truth is, even if his siblings were mistreated unfairly, that he deserved everything done to him.
Ben's face is crumpling even as he fights tears, and he wipes them away with the hand he had not used to punch. He tries to play off all his catastrophic emotional turmoil and distress as mere physical pain, choking out: ]
I think I sprained my hand.
[ Can a person even do that? Who cares. He's sure Diego won't believe a word of it. ]