[ The real answer is no. It's been a long time, but Ben had had broken bones, and he remembers how badly it had hurt, and this isn't the same. But he lets Diego take his hand and look it over, just in case. Besides, it's something like comfort, or adjacent to it, and Ben will take any measure of that he can get right now. ]
I'm okay.
[ It's such an obvious lie that Ben doesn't know why he bothers. His voice is stretched taut over tears he doesn't want to shed and he lets his head fall back against the wall, eyes screwed shut. Their father's words are reverberating over and over again in his head, now overlaid with a wash of shame, that Diego had heard all that. Swallowing, Ben chokes out: ]
Thank you. If you hadn't come by-
[ His voice breaks off, and he heaves a sharp sigh that doesn't quite hide the sob behind it, and he is not doing this. He is not going to shed tears over the past, over the fact that his asshole of a dad had thought he was a monster. But Ben can't seem to find the switch to shut it all off. He is shaking all over and it feels just as bad as it had felt all those years ago, when he was a teenager and still living, still in that house, still under his thumb. Diego had had time, to grow and process and find a way to live with it. All that process had been put on hold, for Ben. He'd thought he was past it, but turned out he'd just been dead. ]
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[ The real answer is no. It's been a long time, but Ben had had broken bones, and he remembers how badly it had hurt, and this isn't the same. But he lets Diego take his hand and look it over, just in case. Besides, it's something like comfort, or adjacent to it, and Ben will take any measure of that he can get right now. ]
I'm okay.
[ It's such an obvious lie that Ben doesn't know why he bothers. His voice is stretched taut over tears he doesn't want to shed and he lets his head fall back against the wall, eyes screwed shut. Their father's words are reverberating over and over again in his head, now overlaid with a wash of shame, that Diego had heard all that. Swallowing, Ben chokes out: ]
Thank you. If you hadn't come by-
[ His voice breaks off, and he heaves a sharp sigh that doesn't quite hide the sob behind it, and he is not doing this. He is not going to shed tears over the past, over the fact that his asshole of a dad had thought he was a monster. But Ben can't seem to find the switch to shut it all off. He is shaking all over and it feels just as bad as it had felt all those years ago, when he was a teenager and still living, still in that house, still under his thumb. Diego had had time, to grow and process and find a way to live with it. All that process had been put on hold, for Ben. He'd thought he was past it, but turned out he'd just been dead. ]