[ Ben only shrugs at Diego's suggestion that he swing by the Medbay. If it were him, and one of his brothers had maybe hurt his hand, he would be lecturing up and down for them to act like a responsible adult and take care of it. Ben's a lot better at giving advice sometimes than he is at taking it.
He feels Diego putting a hand on his shoulder, a firm and heavy anchor. Ben makes himself look up at his brother, even though he knows he won't be able to hide any of the pain on his face. It's so hard, seeing that ferocious conviction on Diego's face. Ben can't help thinking how much stronger his brother is. How much further he's come.
And then Diego is telling him he isn't a monster, that he knows him better than Reginald ever did. There's a vein standing out slightly on Ben's forehead as he fights off tears, shaking his head and trying to make himself believe that Diego is right. He is at war with himself internally; his rational mind knowing that Reggie was manipulative, cruel, abusive, utterly unworth listening to or believing. But there is another part of his thoughts that will, he worries, always believe it was true. That he is unnatural, evil, and deserving of cruelty in ways his siblings never were.
With another shaky sigh, Ben says: ]
Why does it still hurt so much?
[ The question isn't one that is meant to be answered. He thinks Diego will understand. How did their father still have so much power over him, to reduce him so quickly to a pathetic mess like this? He doesn't want to be vulnerable like this. But apparently, he is. ]
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He feels Diego putting a hand on his shoulder, a firm and heavy anchor. Ben makes himself look up at his brother, even though he knows he won't be able to hide any of the pain on his face. It's so hard, seeing that ferocious conviction on Diego's face. Ben can't help thinking how much stronger his brother is. How much further he's come.
And then Diego is telling him he isn't a monster, that he knows him better than Reginald ever did. There's a vein standing out slightly on Ben's forehead as he fights off tears, shaking his head and trying to make himself believe that Diego is right. He is at war with himself internally; his rational mind knowing that Reggie was manipulative, cruel, abusive, utterly unworth listening to or believing. But there is another part of his thoughts that will, he worries, always believe it was true. That he is unnatural, evil, and deserving of cruelty in ways his siblings never were.
With another shaky sigh, Ben says: ]
Why does it still hurt so much?
[ The question isn't one that is meant to be answered. He thinks Diego will understand. How did their father still have so much power over him, to reduce him so quickly to a pathetic mess like this? He doesn't want to be vulnerable like this. But apparently, he is. ]