[ He corrects Pratt automatically, and then realizes that the small semantic difference might not seem all that important. Rubbing a hand across his forehead, he tries his best to explain. ]
They don't live inside me. They're in another dimension. I... was born with a portal on my body, and I can open it, and let them reach through. And I can control them. A little.
[ When Pratt asks if it hurts, Ben knows there is no point in lying. He's already been honest up to this point, and besides, Pratt had heard him screaming. If he said it was painless it would be totally unbelievable. He he gives a little shrug, as if the answer is yes but it's not a big deal at all. Like it didn't feel like being torn apart every single time.
And Pratt's not wrong about if being horrific; Ben smiles, and it's sarcastic and bitter and brittle. ]
That was the nickname they gave me. The papers and everything. 'The Horror'. 'Cause just seeing me made most people...
[ He trails off into another shrug. Pratt can use his imagination, and all that bitterness had swiftly run out of Ben, leaving him feeling mostly hollow. He knows it shouldn't matter what other people think of him. His reputation, his legacy. In theory all that should matter is his view of himself. But practice and theory are very different things when, on occasion, people throw up just looking at you. ]
...Anyway, you handled it way better than most.
[ And then, more awful than all the rest of it, Ben feels a flicker of hope when Pratt laughs, even if it's soft and strained. Like maybe this isn't all ruined and over, after all, and they could still someday be friends. He knows he shouldn't let himself hope, and yet... he is. ]
No, they don't. But I wish they did.
[ He knows there are probably a lot of good reasons why Pratt would want to convince people he was dangerous. Self-preservation, etcetera. But Ben just can't imagine it. So much of who he is as a person and how he looks at the world has been shaped around this knowledge he has had his entire life, that he is like a bomb that could go off at any second if he doesn't make all the right choices and do everything perfectly and keep control of himself.
Ben's expression shifts, concern coming to the fore as he asks: ]
Are you... doing okay? After you saw my power, and- thinking Jacob was here?
no subject
[ He corrects Pratt automatically, and then realizes that the small semantic difference might not seem all that important. Rubbing a hand across his forehead, he tries his best to explain. ]
They don't live inside me. They're in another dimension. I... was born with a portal on my body, and I can open it, and let them reach through. And I can control them. A little.
[ When Pratt asks if it hurts, Ben knows there is no point in lying. He's already been honest up to this point, and besides, Pratt had heard him screaming. If he said it was painless it would be totally unbelievable. He he gives a little shrug, as if the answer is yes but it's not a big deal at all. Like it didn't feel like being torn apart every single time.
And Pratt's not wrong about if being horrific; Ben smiles, and it's sarcastic and bitter and brittle. ]
That was the nickname they gave me. The papers and everything. 'The Horror'. 'Cause just seeing me made most people...
[ He trails off into another shrug. Pratt can use his imagination, and all that bitterness had swiftly run out of Ben, leaving him feeling mostly hollow. He knows it shouldn't matter what other people think of him. His reputation, his legacy. In theory all that should matter is his view of himself. But practice and theory are very different things when, on occasion, people throw up just looking at you. ]
...Anyway, you handled it way better than most.
[ And then, more awful than all the rest of it, Ben feels a flicker of hope when Pratt laughs, even if it's soft and strained. Like maybe this isn't all ruined and over, after all, and they could still someday be friends. He knows he shouldn't let himself hope, and yet... he is. ]
No, they don't. But I wish they did.
[ He knows there are probably a lot of good reasons why Pratt would want to convince people he was dangerous. Self-preservation, etcetera. But Ben just can't imagine it. So much of who he is as a person and how he looks at the world has been shaped around this knowledge he has had his entire life, that he is like a bomb that could go off at any second if he doesn't make all the right choices and do everything perfectly and keep control of himself.
Ben's expression shifts, concern coming to the fore as he asks: ]
Are you... doing okay? After you saw my power, and- thinking Jacob was here?