Ben doesn't know how Cole can say that, when he has seen them, when he knows. How can Cole accept those things, when he says he hates cruelty, and pointless violence, and... abominations. How could there be any abomination worse than them, than Ben when they are reaching through him?

Everyone else knows it. Strangers who know nothing about Ben still know to scream and run when they see what he is. Good people, kind innocent victims of crimes, fleeing from the person who was there to save them. And Ben doesn't blame them, because they're right.

So how can Cole stand to be anywhere near him, much less touching him, trying to calm that sudden cascade of panic inside him?

One point he makes does break through that reflex of fear and repulsion. They had not attacked Cole, when the two of them ventured out of the Anchor and were attacked. Ben hadn't had to hold them back. Maybe... maybe because of what he is, they won't long to rip him limb from limb, the way they do to anything else that gets too close, if Ben can't stop them. But is that a risk he can take? With his friend?

And he has hated himself for so long. Would it even be possible, not to? Doesn't he deserve to hate himself? Hasn't he earned it, in blood and cowardice and gullible naivety and selfishness and anger and every mistake he's ever made in his whole life?

"I don't want to hurt you."