[He smiles a little, something small and tinted with sadness. Because even though Ben was just gonegonegone for Diego, he knows the reverse wasn't true for Ben. Not exactly, not really. At least, not whenever he was around Klaus. The siblings' estrangement from each other over the years probably made it feel more like the same, for Ben, but... not just assuming it, actually physically hearing it straight from him, in his own voice, is a lot more emotional than Diego might have expected. Especially since he'd already had the Oh my God, you're alive moment with another, different Ben somewhere else before this.
But it's not the same. It's so different. And it hurts.
But it's that next set of words that really drive the dagger between his ribs further in, twist in the pain just a little deeper.
He shakes his head a little.]
Don't... don't do that. That- that's not your fault. It's not-- you didn't ask to- to die, Ben. It wasn't some choice you made, it- it just happened. ["Just happened" might be a bit of an understatement, really, but... well. It was more that than an active choice, at least.
But... apparently, that isn't where this ends. Ben keeps going. And it keeps making this whole conversation harder and harder. Because he wasn't supposed to ever have this chance. He wasn't supposed to be able to say any of this. But he is, and he can, and Diego can't help wonder if he'll forget all of this if he ever goes home.
And these things? These are things he would have killed, probably literally, to hear from someone. Dad. Luther, even. But he never got that kind of recognition. That kind of acknowledgment that would have been so easy, so simple for anyone to give, but mean the absolute world to him. And here's Ben, giving it his all to make Diego have to blink back stinging sharpness from his eyes. He kind of hates him for that, in that way that only a brother can say he hates you, and you know he never in a million years could mean it, not really.
When he speaks again, his voice is soft and it wavers a little.]
Thank you... [He fidgets idly with his own fingers, not sure what he's supposed to say on the heels of that, that would mean anything like what Ben just said meant to him. It takes him another long, several minutes to figure it out, to put the words together in the right way that made it all matter.
And in the end, he's not sure it does at all, anyway.]
I wish I could've believed Klaus sooner about you... I guess, maybe-- I dunno, maybe I just couldn't let myself believe it, because it wasn't fair that he got to keep you, while the rest of us just lost you. You were there, and then you weren't, and that was it. [His voice is thick with emotion.] I missed you all the time... I couldn't stand to be in that house knowing it, and Dad, and his mission for us, is what got you killed. I didn't wanna watch the same thing happen to the rest of us... so I left.
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But it's not the same.
It's so different.
And it hurts.
But it's that next set of words that really drive the dagger between his ribs further in, twist in the pain just a little deeper.
He shakes his head a little.]
Don't... don't do that. That- that's not your fault. It's not-- you didn't ask to- to die, Ben. It wasn't some choice you made, it- it just happened. ["Just happened" might be a bit of an understatement, really, but... well. It was more that than an active choice, at least.
But... apparently, that isn't where this ends. Ben keeps going. And it keeps making this whole conversation harder and harder. Because he wasn't supposed to ever have this chance. He wasn't supposed to be able to say any of this. But he is, and he can, and Diego can't help wonder if he'll forget all of this if he ever goes home.
And these things? These are things he would have killed, probably literally, to hear from someone. Dad. Luther, even. But he never got that kind of recognition. That kind of acknowledgment that would have been so easy, so simple for anyone to give, but mean the absolute world to him. And here's Ben, giving it his all to make Diego have to blink back stinging sharpness from his eyes. He kind of hates him for that, in that way that only a brother can say he hates you, and you know he never in a million years could mean it, not really.
When he speaks again, his voice is soft and it wavers a little.]
Thank you... [He fidgets idly with his own fingers, not sure what he's supposed to say on the heels of that, that would mean anything like what Ben just said meant to him. It takes him another long, several minutes to figure it out, to put the words together in the right way that made it all matter.
And in the end, he's not sure it does at all, anyway.]
I wish I could've believed Klaus sooner about you... I guess, maybe-- I dunno, maybe I just couldn't let myself believe it, because it wasn't fair that he got to keep you, while the rest of us just lost you. You were there, and then you weren't, and that was it. [His voice is thick with emotion.] I missed you all the time... I couldn't stand to be in that house knowing it, and Dad, and his mission for us, is what got you killed. I didn't wanna watch the same thing happen to the rest of us... so I left.