[ Ben sits like that a few moments, breaths shuddery. He knows he's the worst kind of hypocrite, always telling Klaus - and now Diego - to do the hard thing, talk about their feelings, work stuff out. But when it comes to his own stuff, he shuts down completely. It's so much easier to give advice than to follow it.
That's why he's doubly grateful for Diego's hand on his shoulder and the way his brother rushes to tell him that he doesn't have to talk about it, that even after all these years he's okay with foregoing answers about what really happened. Ben hadn't thought he would have interrogated out of malice, but Diego is a person who is oriented towards justice. Diego might have wanted the whole story, in detail, so he could know just how much (more) to hold his father - and maybe others - responsible.
But Diego isn't going to make him. So he gathers back his frayed calm, sitting up and smoothing his hair back. It is a visible thing, watching Ben pull himself together again. Voice still a little hollow, he says: ]
Okay.
[ It was such a horrible moment, but it's over now and hopefully they will never have to even have the conversation about not having the conversation ever again. Ben looks over at Diego, whose expression is all soft concern. He had always had that softness, underneath. Ben loves that about him.
He hauls his mind back, to what Diego had actually said - not just what Ben dreaded he would ask next - and says: ]
Leaving was the right call. If you'd stayed... you're right, I probably wouldn't have been the only one who died. I mean, look at Luther.
[ Whether Ben means Luther choosing to stay in their home all those years, or Luther almost dying on that mission, or the experiment their father had done that had left Luther the way he is now, he doesn't specify. All of the above, really.
Ben sighs, shifting so he can lean his shoulder against Diego's, just a little. He even manages a smile, though it is small and wan. ]
I'm glad you got out. And kinda jealous. You've lived so much.
[ There are so many things Ben never got to do. He had been so sheltered from the world, his whole life. It was only after he died, after Klaus ran away, that he started to see the world. He didn't understand what a cage they'd been raised in, what a sick, claustrophobic little laboratory, until it was too late. But Diego had survived. He'd built a place for himself. ]
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That's why he's doubly grateful for Diego's hand on his shoulder and the way his brother rushes to tell him that he doesn't have to talk about it, that even after all these years he's okay with foregoing answers about what really happened. Ben hadn't thought he would have interrogated out of malice, but Diego is a person who is oriented towards justice. Diego might have wanted the whole story, in detail, so he could know just how much (more) to hold his father - and maybe others - responsible.
But Diego isn't going to make him. So he gathers back his frayed calm, sitting up and smoothing his hair back. It is a visible thing, watching Ben pull himself together again. Voice still a little hollow, he says: ]
Okay.
[ It was such a horrible moment, but it's over now and hopefully they will never have to even have the conversation about not having the conversation ever again. Ben looks over at Diego, whose expression is all soft concern. He had always had that softness, underneath. Ben loves that about him.
He hauls his mind back, to what Diego had actually said - not just what Ben dreaded he would ask next - and says: ]
Leaving was the right call. If you'd stayed... you're right, I probably wouldn't have been the only one who died. I mean, look at Luther.
[ Whether Ben means Luther choosing to stay in their home all those years, or Luther almost dying on that mission, or the experiment their father had done that had left Luther the way he is now, he doesn't specify. All of the above, really.
Ben sighs, shifting so he can lean his shoulder against Diego's, just a little. He even manages a smile, though it is small and wan. ]
I'm glad you got out. And kinda jealous. You've lived so much.
[ There are so many things Ben never got to do. He had been so sheltered from the world, his whole life. It was only after he died, after Klaus ran away, that he started to see the world. He didn't understand what a cage they'd been raised in, what a sick, claustrophobic little laboratory, until it was too late. But Diego had survived. He'd built a place for himself. ]