"No shit. I don't either." he says, his voice a little shaky, and he rubs his hand over his face, squeezes her hand before he lets go, and slips into the room. Padding across the floor barefoot, he crouches beside his bed where Ben is sleeping fitfully, and pulls his bag out from under it.

It only takes a few moments to find the bottle of Oxycodone, and for a long few moments he sits there and stares at it, his mouth dry, his body trembling with desire, every nerve on fire and emotions churned up in his belly so hard he feels nauseous. Taking a breath, he stands and moves away from the beds, pressed up against the wall beside the door where neither Julie nor his brothers will here, and twists the cap off the bottle. Hand shaking, he silently shakes three pills out onto his palm and stares at them. He can feel sweat forming on his brow, he can feel his body trembling, he can feel every nerve screaming, the knot of desire in his gut so tight he can barely handle it.

But he doesn't take them, he heads back over to his bag, crouches down, and carefully unrolls a pair of his clean socks, tucks the pills into the folds of the cuffs, and rolls them back up, shoves them to the bottom of the bag. With a guilty huff of breath, he stands up and slips back out the door again.

The bottle is still closed in his fist, and he bites his lip as he looks at Julie, holds his hand up so she can see.