Don't I what? Have a choice? What choice have I in this existence? I am choosing to work toward controlling my- my more unfavorable impulses, but that does not change what I am. I am choosing to make amends to those I can, but that does not change what I have done, nor how I feel about it. I cannot even choose my own end.

[Well, maybe he can, but he has scruples with that. Another sigh.]

I do not mean to refute your every suggestion. I suppose that is exhaustion speaking.