[It's immediately obvious how the question affects Reynir, the way it hits him. For a moment he stares silently and then he looks down at the soil, obviously thinking. Obviously hurting because of the question. For a moment, Onni is silent, he feels a bit guilty bringing it up. It's obviously something that weighs heavily on Reynir, and he's making him going through it again.
But part of him really needs to know that answer. To understand why Reynir had held back that detail. Why he hadn't excused himself with that when he'd come to confess, if he'd seemed to want to stay in Onni's good graces by lying in the first place. For a moment, he returns the favour Reynir had given him earlier, and lets the younger man have the space to work out his answer to the question, to work through his feelings before he has to say something in response. It's a difficult question, he knows it. It's only fair to give him time.
And after a while, Reynir speaks again, his voice quiet, and hinted with what Onni recognizes now as guilt. Explains that she was gone anyhow, that he'd had to tell Onni about Lalli being missing, that he hadn't wanted to whine and try to excuse himself. That he hadn't wanted to blame it on her, to make it seem like it was her fault, when he was the one who chose to lie.
Onni's eyes are wet, as he looks at Reynir, watching the way he struggles with his hurt, the way his face changes when he says he was worried about Onni because there was nothing Onni could do, he was helpless, and maybe being angry and hitting Reynir and hating him might have made him feel better. There's something in his chest and belly - warmth, fondness, affection, respect, but there is also burning shame there.]
I want you to know, I respect you for not trying to put the blame on her.
[His voice is a little tight, and he exhales shakily.]
I also appreciate how worried you were about me. I'm sorry for shutting you out, then, but I wouldn't have been able to talk about it to anyone.
[For another few moments, he's quiet, processing his thoughts, and then swallowing hard, lifting his chin and looking over at Reynir and trying to meet his eyes, holding contact. Reynir's eyes are beautiful, and he looks so sad.]
I understand why you thought it would be alright to let me take out what I was feeling on you, but I don't want you to ever do that again. Don't let me take things out on you. I'll do my best not to do it again, but don't let me get away with it if I do. I don't want to hurt you.
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But part of him really needs to know that answer. To understand why Reynir had held back that detail. Why he hadn't excused himself with that when he'd come to confess, if he'd seemed to want to stay in Onni's good graces by lying in the first place. For a moment, he returns the favour Reynir had given him earlier, and lets the younger man have the space to work out his answer to the question, to work through his feelings before he has to say something in response. It's a difficult question, he knows it. It's only fair to give him time.
And after a while, Reynir speaks again, his voice quiet, and hinted with what Onni recognizes now as guilt. Explains that she was gone anyhow, that he'd had to tell Onni about Lalli being missing, that he hadn't wanted to whine and try to excuse himself. That he hadn't wanted to blame it on her, to make it seem like it was her fault, when he was the one who chose to lie.
Onni's eyes are wet, as he looks at Reynir, watching the way he struggles with his hurt, the way his face changes when he says he was worried about Onni because there was nothing Onni could do, he was helpless, and maybe being angry and hitting Reynir and hating him might have made him feel better. There's something in his chest and belly - warmth, fondness, affection, respect, but there is also burning shame there.]
I want you to know, I respect you for not trying to put the blame on her.
[His voice is a little tight, and he exhales shakily.]
I also appreciate how worried you were about me. I'm sorry for shutting you out, then, but I wouldn't have been able to talk about it to anyone.
[For another few moments, he's quiet, processing his thoughts, and then swallowing hard, lifting his chin and looking over at Reynir and trying to meet his eyes, holding contact. Reynir's eyes are beautiful, and he looks so sad.]
I understand why you thought it would be alright to let me take out what I was feeling on you, but I don't want you to ever do that again. Don't let me take things out on you. I'll do my best not to do it again, but don't let me get away with it if I do. I don't want to hurt you.
[Exhaling softly, he shakes his head.]
You don't have to feel bad anymore, about it.