[ The hurt feeling twisting around Reynir's stomach loosens slightly. The fact that Onni hadn't remembered is a complication that he will need to think about more, of course. He doesn't know what it means for their future, why the gods would do such a mysterious thing. But a part of him, he can't deny, is glad. Before, it had felt a little like ... well, like everything they've been through, how close they've gotten, like it all meant nothing to Onni.
Onni keeps talking, then. Saying that if he had remembered, he would have turned around and rejoined the rescue party. Reynir can't hold in the hitched sigh of relief he lets go of after that. It's not just his ego - though of course, it's important to him that he means something to Onni. But for a moment, he had been worried that Onni was still harboring that intensity of self-destructive sadness. That despite the progress they've made, given the opportunity, he will still hurl himself alone towards danger, because he hates himself that much, because his grief is that strong, because some part of him doesn't want to be alive.
Then Onni starts summarizing the things that had happened here, and though Reynir had lived through all of them, it's strange hearing them laid out in that way, like a story. He wonders what those other things are, for a moment the unprompted thought surges up in his memory, of kissing Onni under that mistletoe, the feel of his lips and the way Onni had looked at him when he'd pulled away...
But he doesn't mean that. He almost certainly doesn't. What a stupid thought. Reynir shoves it away, tries not to look at the strange mix of elation and fear and knowing and not knowing that is coalescing inside him.
As soon as Onni starts apologizing, Reynir is shaking his head, pulling away enough that he can look at Onni. He still stands close, though, and he lifts his hands to brush some of the hair from Onni's face. It's still damp - from the decontamination shower, Reynir realizes - and longer than he remembers. Those cheekbones that he knows so well are standing out more in Onni's face, and Reynir thinks with a jolt that it's probably been a while since he had a decent meal. His hands are feather-light and full of tenderness as he brushes touches across Onni's cheeks and chin, before reluctantly dropping his hands, knitting them together nervously in front of him. ]
I missed you, too. It wasn't as long, but - it was so quiet here, without you.
[ He shouldn't say more, probably. He doesn't want to make Onni feel guilty, especially since it sounds like he'd had no control over this. But Reynir finds the words spilling from him before he's ever made the decision to speak. ]
I hated it. I hated being here without you. I - could've gone and spent time with Kieran or- Genji or Ami or whoever, but I just. Didn't. You were the one I wanted to talk to.
[ Reynir's eyes are almost impossibly green, lingering on Onni like he's afraid if he looks away, Onni will vanish again. ]
no subject
[ The hurt feeling twisting around Reynir's stomach loosens slightly. The fact that Onni hadn't remembered is a complication that he will need to think about more, of course. He doesn't know what it means for their future, why the gods would do such a mysterious thing. But a part of him, he can't deny, is glad. Before, it had felt a little like ... well, like everything they've been through, how close they've gotten, like it all meant nothing to Onni.
Onni keeps talking, then. Saying that if he had remembered, he would have turned around and rejoined the rescue party. Reynir can't hold in the hitched sigh of relief he lets go of after that. It's not just his ego - though of course, it's important to him that he means something to Onni. But for a moment, he had been worried that Onni was still harboring that intensity of self-destructive sadness. That despite the progress they've made, given the opportunity, he will still hurl himself alone towards danger, because he hates himself that much, because his grief is that strong, because some part of him doesn't want to be alive.
Then Onni starts summarizing the things that had happened here, and though Reynir had lived through all of them, it's strange hearing them laid out in that way, like a story. He wonders what those other things are, for a moment the unprompted thought surges up in his memory, of kissing Onni under that mistletoe, the feel of his lips and the way Onni had looked at him when he'd pulled away...
But he doesn't mean that. He almost certainly doesn't. What a stupid thought. Reynir shoves it away, tries not to look at the strange mix of elation and fear and knowing and not knowing that is coalescing inside him.
As soon as Onni starts apologizing, Reynir is shaking his head, pulling away enough that he can look at Onni. He still stands close, though, and he lifts his hands to brush some of the hair from Onni's face. It's still damp - from the decontamination shower, Reynir realizes - and longer than he remembers. Those cheekbones that he knows so well are standing out more in Onni's face, and Reynir thinks with a jolt that it's probably been a while since he had a decent meal. His hands are feather-light and full of tenderness as he brushes touches across Onni's cheeks and chin, before reluctantly dropping his hands, knitting them together nervously in front of him. ]
I missed you, too. It wasn't as long, but - it was so quiet here, without you.
[ He shouldn't say more, probably. He doesn't want to make Onni feel guilty, especially since it sounds like he'd had no control over this. But Reynir finds the words spilling from him before he's ever made the decision to speak. ]
I hated it. I hated being here without you. I - could've gone and spent time with Kieran or- Genji or Ami or whoever, but I just. Didn't. You were the one I wanted to talk to.
[ Reynir's eyes are almost impossibly green, lingering on Onni like he's afraid if he looks away, Onni will vanish again. ]