benhargreeves: (! you don't have to do it alone)
benhargreeves ([personal profile] benhargreeves) wrote in [community profile] redshiftlogs 2019-09-11 01:21 pm (UTC)

[ Ben knows he's being a bit of a hypocrite here, as someone who hates talking about the bad shit that's happened to him and avoids it like the plague: ]

That's what they say. That it helps the brain to process it, change it from - a tangle of undefined shitty moments into a story with a beginning and a middle and an end. And it helps to not feel so isolated and identify - mistaken beliefs about blame and what defines you and what doesn't

[ He gives a little smile, wry and lopsided, and shrugs: ]

I've sat through a lot of rehab therapy sessions with my brother. Like, a lot.

[ He believes some of it, at least. Even if knowing objectively that it can be helpful doesn't make it any easier for himself. Then again, until he came here... Klaus would have been the only one he could talk to. And Klaus already knew all of it. He'd been there for it, was involved in it in a way that made talking about it such a risk. Ben had seen how bringing up certain things had made Klaus spiral with guilt, and he didn't want to cause that.

When Pratt says that friends share trauma and murder, Ben shrugs. ]


In my experience... yeah. They do.

[ Jokes aside, both of those things had been a part of his life so long that it's not really possible to untangle them from everything else. He doesn't treat them with the hushed reverence and fear that people who are unacquainted with them do. ]

Don't know what that says about me.

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