[open, backdated to May] like i'm losing my mind

[superposition]

Who: Qubit, open
What: Belated amnesia shenanigans! Watch Qubit steadily grow more and more frustrated-
When: month of May 2020
Where: around Anchor
Warnings: TBD

01 | try { qubit = new Identity(); }

[ So, Qubit's behavior has taken a turn for the weird.

For one thing, residents get to see a lot more of him over the month of May, because he's started living out of an actual dorm instead of his lab. The more astute may notice what he's not doing. He's not performing maintenance, or doing lab experiments... or showing up for meals reliably.

His ability to sit still already wasn't stellar, but now it's more pronounced. You might catch him coming and going at odd hours, or pacing the halls muttering to himself, or taking notes on a pad of paper with a pen.

He even looks slightly different. His hair, for one - there was already some variation in his signature quiff from day to day, but now they're not as tall, the styling is a little more experimental, and whatever kind of product he's using doesn't hold quite as well.

But perhaps the most obvious indicator something's wrong: he's occasionally wearing colors other than green. ]

02 | while (true) { read(); }

[ One place he ends up pretty regularly, though, is the library. He's found he hates the feeling of not knowing things, and this leads him to devour pretty much any book he can find that has to do with science. Physics, chemistry, biology, astronomy, anything. He piles them high and reads them quickly, impatient to get to the next one.

They're somewhat advanced texts - university level, certainly - but not advanced enough that they'd be useful to him under normal circumstances. Even then, he's not finding it easy to focus. It's like his mind wants to absorb information faster than his eyes can serve it up, and because of that, it's latching on to every distraction it can find. Even if you think you're being quiet, anyone who dawdles more than a minute or two will be getting an irritated glare and a stern reprimand. ]

Would it kill you to keep it down?

03 | catch GatewayFailedException e { Gateway.lockdown(); }

[ Inevitably, though, he eventually finds his way back to R&D. He may poke around in unlocked areas to get a feel for the place, but his primary target is one lab in particular: the one that he's determined is his.

He thought it would be relatively simple. Sure, he can't remember any of his passcodes, but his biometrics haven't changed. Of course, nothing can ever be that easy - the thumbprint scanner works, but the keypad locks him out after a few random passcode attempts, prompting a sigh and some more self-directed muttering. ]

Suppose I should've expected that. Fine, Plan B it is.

[ It's an electronic lock, after all. He may not be clear on how to create anything with this power of his, but he's remarkably good at breaking shit, and for once that may actually come in handy. A moment's concentration, a wave of his hand, a brief cascade of blue light, and the mechanism comes away from the door in pieces, which clatter onto the floor as he releases them.

Did it work? He actually looks hopeful for a second... until the door emits a quick series of loud ker-thunks, and he realizes with sudden dismay that that's the sound of more locks engaging. ]

A fail-safe...?!

[ He might need some help. ]

[ OR: PM or hit me up on Discord (Kae#6067) for plotting or another prompt! ]

Comments

[birdical]

[She leans closer to his ear, lowering her voice. Sorry about that personal space, Qubit.]

Who are you trying to impress?

[superposition]

[ Once again, Qubit tenses, tilting his head away. It's an automatic reaction, and probably predictable by now - at any rate, he's growing more conscious of it himself. Presumably, there's also a reason for that.

However "shy" he may be, though, he's not too oblivious to grasp what she's insinuating. But is she expecting a certain answer? Is she fishing for him to say it's her? No, somehow that's not the impression he gets. Maybe this is just her studying him again. ]

Who says I'm trying to impress anyone? Can't a man try to look presentable for his own sake?

[birdical]

He can. It is then you you are trying to impress. There is no shame in that.

[She pulls away, if only a little, her eyes still on the water ahead of them.]

But you are so... defensive of it. Why is that?

[superposition]

[ Trying to impress himself? That's completely nonsensical, but he decides to leave it; he doesn't stand to gain anything by arguing semantics. ]

[ grumbles- ] Maybe I wouldn't be if you didn't keep harping on it. How is any of this "teaching me how to speak to a lady," anyway? Isn't that what you wanted to do?

[birdical]

It is.

[Rather than futzing with Qubit's hair, she twirls her own for the second, idly wrapping a loose curl around one finger as her eyes cut to Qubit, giving him a sharp, sideways glance.]

Your first lesson is that you should not argue when she is being truthful with you.

[superposition]

[ Elleru, honey, you might as well try to stop the tides. Qubit doesn't back down, meeting her sidelong glare with a direct one - although he's more confused and exasperated than properly angry, at the moment. ]

What are you talking about? If this is you "being truthful," why am I the one answering all the questions? There's a fair few I could be asking you, too, you know.

[birdical]

Then do.

[She turns to him fully, her brow tight, her eyes on him as though they could bore a hole through him if given the right incentive.]

I say you are defensive, and you are. I say you are a conundrum, and you continue to be. I only want to talk about you to better understand how I may help. To better understand you.

[She flips her hair over her shoulder, closing her eyes.]

But if you do not want to talk about you, then ask about me.

[superposition]

[ He doesn't ask, though. Not immediately. Instead he frowns, looking back out over the serene surface of the lake. ]

I don't -

[ That's not what he wants, either, he's realizing now. It's not that he doesn't want to talk about himself, necessarily, but this isn't how he wants to do it. He sighs, rubbing his forehead. ]

Look. You're right, I am being defensive. [ She's telling it like it is - that's what she meant by "truthful." ] It's just - I don't want to sit here going through a laundry list of my faults. That doesn't help either of us.

[ They're trying to reach a mutual understanding, right? But you can't do that through one-sided criticism. ]

I want to understand where you're coming from, too. Maybe - why don't we take it in turns? You ask one, I ask one. Would that be acceptable?

[birdical]

[He doesn't want to hear about his faults — no one does, Elleru reasons, but Qubit seems to take them so hard. Is it because he has many? Or does he think he has more than he realizes? Have they always caused him such injury, or did something change along the way?

Another possibility comes to mind: she thinks of Rey, who was made to be used, brought low by those around her to the point where she cannot see her own value. Maybe someone made Qubit feel as though his flaws are terrible, and so he feels the need to defend himself. Perhaps no one else will.

If that's the case, that ends now. She gives him a nod.]

Yes, that is acceptable. You will start.

[superposition]

[ Qubit lets out a short sigh of relief. Okay. Now they've got an arrangement he can live with. But now that he thinks about it, there are actually two questions vying for the top spot. They're both burning a hole in his pocket. One is scientfic. The other... not so much.

Nevertheless, that's the one he decides to go with. It's been the elephant in the room for most of this conversation, after all, and the sooner they get it cleared up, the sooner it can stop doing his head in. ]

Why do... No. [ It's tempting to beat around the bush, but Elleru clearly favors the direct approach. Better to just bite the bullet and say it. ]

... Elleru, what are we?

[birdical]

[Elleru's brow furrows, her eyes turning to him.]

What are we? [She giggles quietly, a thrum rumbling toward the top of her throat in a bright, nasal tone.]

We are people, Qubit. You are human, and I am otherwise.

[He might want to be more specific... or perhaps she's teasing him. It's hard to tell at times with Elleru.]

[superposition]

[ Por qué no los dos? Qubit rolls his eyes. ]

I know that. I mean - [ He gestures rapidly between them. ] What are we, as a unit? Neighbors? Friends? Something...

[ else? more? If he spells it out, he's going to sound like a moron. ]

[birdical]

[Oh. Her ears rise in the slightest bit of embarrassment, but she recovers well, a knowing smile curling across her face as her cheeks deepen in color to a warm, copper shade.]

Do you not know? Or do you want to know what I think?

[Thankfully, Qubit doesn't have to answer that; she leans just the slightest bit closer, just enjoying the proximity.]

We are friends, Qubit. We could be more, but I do not believe you are interested.

[superposition]

[ Before he has a chance to fully process why, Qubit lets out a huge sigh of relief. ]

Okay! So we haven't, uh... okay.

[ Okay okay okay. So he is not, in fact, in a sexual relationship with the shapeshifting alien. That's good to know for a number of reasons. On a practical level, it simplifies things - makes him a little more certain that revealing his memory issues isn't going to break her heart or something. But... it's also a relief on a personal level, he finds. Why is that? Is this yet another weird psychological hang-up he's just now discovering?

Her assessment's correct, in any event, as things stand now. And if he's always acted this averse to close contact, then it stands to reason she was also correct then. And he's... still not sure how he feels about that.

Belatedly, though, it occurs to him that, uh - maybe his reaction just now was a little rude? He rushes to qualify it, waving his hands. ]

I'm sure it's nothing to do with you! I don't want to imply you're unattractive, you make a lovely human, I just... [ He sighs. ] I don't know. There's been a lot going on lately, I don't know where my head's at.

[birdical]

[Oh, she does enjoy that flattery, so much so that she doesn't ask what he was going to say at first. Elleru uses a hand to brush back some stray strands of her hair, smoothing down her lavender mane. It's a bit on the wild side at the moment, likely due to the shift from her natural form.]

And here, I thought you did not find me beautiful. You would perhaps be the first.

[superposition]

[ And she's not offended. Phew. With that anvil no longer hanging over his head, Qubit finally begins to relax - not completely, of course, but noticeably for sure. As for why he found the idea so threatening in the first place, well - why don't we just table that forever please thank you. ]

Is that by design? [ Yep, that's genuine curiosity already creeping into his tone. ] That is, with an ability like yours - I suppose you could choose to look however you want, is that right?

[birdical]

I can. There are some... imitations?

[No, that word doesn't sound quite right, but she's not sure what the correct one is.]

[superposition]

[ Imitations? Qubit squints at first - it doesn't quite make sense, but it's close enough in both pronunciation and subject matter that it takes him a second to parse what she was going for. ]

You mean "limitations"?

[birdical]

Yes, limitations!

[She reddens just a hair — apparently, that's what it takes to get Elleru flustered.]

We practice to take an upright form, to choose the shape to blend in. But I could not change the color of my hair, or my skin. My plumage is my status, you see.

[superposition]

Your status?

[ Okay he knows he offered to take turns asking questions and now he's asking like twenty in a row, but- ]

[birdical]

It is who I am, Qubit.

[She brushes her hand through her hair again, the fluffiness of it more inline with the texture of her natural coat than strands of individual hairs in some places. She offers one of her pigtails to him — yes, he may touch it, once.]

I am ru'ularaen, a priestess. All with such plumage are.