substances: (damage)
klaus hargreeves ([personal profile] substances) wrote in [community profile] redshiftlogs 2019-07-09 08:31 pm (UTC)

cw: mild suicidal ideation

"I mean, I didn't really have a choice there, there was nothing harder than pot and alcohol, but yeah. He helped a lot, really encouraging and said he believed in me and stuff. I might've just offed myself if he hadn't been there."

Another shrug, because he's still feeling that depression that comes with getting clean. He's never really been this clear for this long since he was a kid, even with the pot-smoking, and he'd almost forgotten how bad it gets after, that nagging depression, like life is over and not worth living if there's no drugs in the near future. Like he can't be happy without them and won't ever be happy again.

Pushes that down and takes a deep breath, smiles at his brother again - at least until Diego asks him if he's gonna stay clean. Klaus can almost feel the pills burning in the pocket of his backpack where he stashed them after the robots gave them to him. Guilt mixes in with the loneliness and sadness, because he should've thrown them away, not asked for stronger ones. Shouldn't have stashed both bottles in his backpack.

He picks at the thread on the blanket again, then looks up at Diego, meets his eyes, "I want to."

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