It tastes like Rhys' betrayal, not as strong, not as sharp and bitter and cutting. Cole has a better grasp of who he is, what he is, and Ben is a stranger (no one's a stranger) and not his sole, beloved companion.
It still hurts.
"I don't decide who is good or bad. It's not about that. It's about the desire to cause harm. Your father made you loose them- 'Control them, Number Six, they are beasts and you are their master'-" And Cole flings himself away from Ben, clutching his head, the brief mimicry of Sir Reginald cracking at the end. "I'm Cole. I was Compassion. Mercy. Nearly Despair. I want to be Compassion, but I'm Cole, and being Cole is mostly good but it means that it all has context and meaning and it hurts to know because I'm Cole, not Compassion, please stop asking, I can't think past you if you keep asking, telling, raw on the edges, so much feeling, it's not like death, death is cold and numb compared to-" He makes a small, wounded animal noise. "Please. I just want to help. I can't help like this."
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It tastes like Rhys' betrayal, not as strong, not as sharp and bitter and cutting. Cole has a better grasp of who he is, what he is, and Ben is a stranger (no one's a stranger) and not his sole, beloved companion.
It still hurts.
"I don't decide who is good or bad. It's not about that. It's about the desire to cause harm. Your father made you loose them- 'Control them, Number Six, they are beasts and you are their master'-" And Cole flings himself away from Ben, clutching his head, the brief mimicry of Sir Reginald cracking at the end. "I'm Cole. I was Compassion. Mercy. Nearly Despair. I want to be Compassion, but I'm Cole, and being Cole is mostly good but it means that it all has context and meaning and it hurts to know because I'm Cole, not Compassion, please stop asking, I can't think past you if you keep asking, telling, raw on the edges, so much feeling, it's not like death, death is cold and numb compared to-" He makes a small, wounded animal noise. "Please. I just want to help. I can't help like this."