benhargreeves (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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redshiftlogs2019-09-18 10:59 pm
benhargreeves) wrote in redshiftlogs2019-09-18 10:59 pm
Entry tags:
[closed] not to disappear
Who: Ben Hargreeves, Cole
What: Ben checks in on Cole to see how he's doing
When: September 18
Where: Cole's storage cupboard
Ben had meant what he said to Cole, when the two of them had fled from that nightmarish version of him: just because Cole is Compassion, and his purpose is to help other people when they're having a hard time, that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to have someone help him, too. Ben had been thinking a lot about that discussion, since it had happened. Even if Cole insists that it's not necessary, not the done thing, for humans to worry about spirits - Ben is worried. He does care and he isn't going to apologize for it.
So, on an evening when things are relatively calm, with no new crises in the Anchor and no new drama amongst the Hargreeveses, he sets out to find Cole. Ben has a little gift for him - one that he has wrapped up in brown paper despite the fact that Cole will probably know exactly what it is the moment Ben wanders close. Mind-reading really does make surprises difficult. But he'd done it anyway. Because the whole point is, it's worth doing these things anyway.
He has a vague idea of where Cole lives, because this place isn't that big after all, and Ben is an observant person. He watches people and remembers what he sees. So he makes his way to that storage cupboard (though he doesn't know that is what it is, yet) near to the bunks, little package tucked under his arm. After a moment's hesitation, he knocks lightly.
"Um, Cole? You in there?"
What: Ben checks in on Cole to see how he's doing
When: September 18
Where: Cole's storage cupboard
Ben had meant what he said to Cole, when the two of them had fled from that nightmarish version of him: just because Cole is Compassion, and his purpose is to help other people when they're having a hard time, that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to have someone help him, too. Ben had been thinking a lot about that discussion, since it had happened. Even if Cole insists that it's not necessary, not the done thing, for humans to worry about spirits - Ben is worried. He does care and he isn't going to apologize for it.
So, on an evening when things are relatively calm, with no new crises in the Anchor and no new drama amongst the Hargreeveses, he sets out to find Cole. Ben has a little gift for him - one that he has wrapped up in brown paper despite the fact that Cole will probably know exactly what it is the moment Ben wanders close. Mind-reading really does make surprises difficult. But he'd done it anyway. Because the whole point is, it's worth doing these things anyway.
He has a vague idea of where Cole lives, because this place isn't that big after all, and Ben is an observant person. He watches people and remembers what he sees. So he makes his way to that storage cupboard (though he doesn't know that is what it is, yet) near to the bunks, little package tucked under his arm. After a moment's hesitation, he knocks lightly.
"Um, Cole? You in there?"
no subject
"It's not all okay and it's all right to feel confused or overwhelmed. But right now, you're safe and I'm safe and you gave me a lovely present that feels really nice." He shuffles to sit next to Ben, still holding his hand.
Sorry about the tatty gloves and the threadbare wraps and his constantly grimy nails.
no subject
He's had it drilled into him so completely that he is a lit match held just above a pool of gasoline. That he must be attentive, and careful, and still, and do everything right, and even then, chances are sooner or later something will happen to make someone get hurt. Ben can't remember back far enough, to when it had started. All of those old old memories are blurred. He'd just accepted it, that he would never really be safe for anyone to be around. That no one apart from his family - who had no choice, and who knew how useful he could be in a fight where a lot of people needed to die - would ever want to be.
But here is Cole, who can see beyond the surface of things and into the heart of them, into what they really are, not running away from him. Trying to help him in ways he didn't even know he could hope for. Holding his hand like he isn't some disgusting thing.
Ben hasn't got the words for any of it, but maybe that's okay. He can just sit here with Cole's hand in his - and who cares, about the tattiness of the gloves, or the rest of it? - and be quiet, and grateful, and feel, just for a little bit. Safe.
no subject