[Closed] You're never strangers with compassion

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole and Allison
What: Meeting your baby brother's boyfriend
When: Late at night, during the height of the plague
Where: The kitchen area
Warnings: None at present.


Cole senses her the moment she arrives, of course.

But until this night, she hasn't needed his presence. Her hurts are being processed in the healthiest way possible for the Hargreeves children, and he's a little more interested in Ben and helping him.

Tonight, she feels alone and it's too quiet, so Cole goes to find her, checks Ben is asleep and whispers for his dreams to be gentle with him and then he goes to the kitchen.

He starts the conversation and notifies her that he's there by saying "I can't get sick, so I won't be a danger to you."

Allison, meet Cole.

Comments

[killedwithlove]

Cole pulls at his fingers, hands in motion and slightly agitated. "A place can die when everything that makes it what it is is gone. A castle stronghold which falls under siege, its people gone, its history forgotten, the shell may stand but it has died. Do you understand? I never know if I'm explaining things in ways mortals perceive."

Skyhold died. And then Solas brought the Inquisition to it and Skyhold lived, but not the same Skyhold.

"Anchor died. And now, Anchor lives again, but not the same Anchor."

[hersay]

Allison nods. She does understand, for once. She thinks about the Academy, destroyed by its own lies, its years of secrets and abuse. Vanya didn't destroy it. Reginald did, and the whole thing was rotting from the start.

Allison tilts her head a little. The way mortals perceive? How does he see things, then? What's so different about it?

[killedwithlove]

"You have insides and outsides. Spirits don't. My inside is my outside. I speak to you, in and out. But they aren't always the same for you. Your outside says one thing and your inside says another. Your inside if louder, because your outside is silent."

That totally explains, right?

[hersay]

Allison isn't sure she follows. Inside and outside is metaphorical here, right? Because she's pretty sure that Cole isn't talking about having like, faces but also having internal organs. It's more about how you really feel, versus what you display to others. That's something Allison understands very, very well, perhaps better than most. She's made a whole career, after all, of deeply feeling one thing, and saying another. Cole, on the other hand, would probably make a terrible actor. She smiles a little, at the thought -- it's almost funny, really.

In a way, that relaxes her, too. It humanizes Cole a little, makes him a bit easier to understand, to empathize with. She still isn't sure how many deep, personal conversations she wants to have with him about her loves and regrets, but she can understand his actions a little better maybe, if he can only say what he feels.

[killedwithlove]

"I understand plays, but I don't really get them," Cole admits. "But I like being read to. Ben reads to me and it's nicer than when Cassandra would read, but they both love the words and the feel of the pages under their fingers and the play of words out loud. I like hearing stories, but reading hurts, there's the words, and what the words want to be, and what the person holding them wanted them to be and it gets very loud."

[hersay]

Allison smiles for the first time since she's seen Cole. It's a small one, but soft and genuine. She can easily imagine Ben reading to Cole -- he's always liked books, and it always feels so good to share something you love with someone else, especially when the other person likes it too.

She thinks about Claire again, but this time, the memories have a little bit more happiness to them. She wishes she could read to her daughter again, someday. That they will be together again, a whole family, with Allison's injuries healed, physical and emotional.

Thank you, Allison tries to think, tries to direct her thoughts at Cole. For prodding a good memory. I'm sure Ben likes reading to you, too.

[killedwithlove]

"Picture books of Mom's adventures, Space Boy on the moon, waiting for a danger that boiled over on Earth-" He shakes his head. "Sorry. Not that. You will, I think, read to her again. And maybe she'll be there to be read to."

And Cole's back to being obtuse.