Ben doesn't have the advantage that Cole has - he doesn't know what Cole is going to say, before he says it. He only knows what Cole says out loud, and what he shows with his actions. Right now, all of his actions are caring and thoughtful and protective, keeping Ben safe from the cold, warming him up, taking care of him. But of course, Ben knows that is what Cole does. He cares about people. He is Compassion. His emotional range stretches broader than that but at the end of the day, that's who he is.
So he doesn't really know, before Cole says it, that there's anything different about the way Cole feels for him than how he feels for other people. And when he whispers what he does, Ben feels like he could burst from the joy of it. He doesn't want to trust it, to believe he really heard the words, in case he's wrong, or misinterpreting. But Cole put it so simply and it echoes again and again in his head. I don't care about other people like I care about you.
Everything else is details, and while many of those details are important ones, Ben knows that, it is still unbelievably good to know that he is special to Cole. That he stands out, that he means more. It might be a selfish impulse, that happiness, but Ben doesn't care. He wants to be valued in that way, to be special and different.
He reaches for Cole's hand and laces their fingers together, bringing their hands up to press against the center of his chest, too full of joy to even speak at first. When he does, the words are still hard to choose, but there isn't quite so much agony in saying them.
"I know you know already but that - makes me really happy, Cole. Even if... the way you care about me isn't exactly the way I realized I care about you, I'm still. I'm happy. Just being around you makes me so happy."
Ben shuts his eyes, giving himself a few seconds to just enjoy the feeling of Cole against his back, of their hands linked tightly. Everything is going so much better than he expected, but there's still so much more to say. A little part of him wants to accept this much, a victory, to call it enough and just cuddle together like this and not discuss the finer points, the things that might feel less perfect. But then he remembers Klaus cautioning him he couldn't just avoid things like he always does. That he has to face things head on.
And so he tries his best.
"We... haven't ever talked about whether... I mean I remember what you said, ages ago about... everybody else having their kisses and heartbreaks and the two of us were left out. But has anybody ever, um. Fallen for you before, or have you - been with people, or attracted to people, or - because I wondered once or twice, when you would talk about Rhys, but I didn't ever know and I wasn't sure if I should ask and I just. I've never... all this is new, for me, but it might not entirely be, for you?"
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So he doesn't really know, before Cole says it, that there's anything different about the way Cole feels for him than how he feels for other people. And when he whispers what he does, Ben feels like he could burst from the joy of it. He doesn't want to trust it, to believe he really heard the words, in case he's wrong, or misinterpreting. But Cole put it so simply and it echoes again and again in his head. I don't care about other people like I care about you.
Everything else is details, and while many of those details are important ones, Ben knows that, it is still unbelievably good to know that he is special to Cole. That he stands out, that he means more. It might be a selfish impulse, that happiness, but Ben doesn't care. He wants to be valued in that way, to be special and different.
He reaches for Cole's hand and laces their fingers together, bringing their hands up to press against the center of his chest, too full of joy to even speak at first. When he does, the words are still hard to choose, but there isn't quite so much agony in saying them.
"I know you know already but that - makes me really happy, Cole. Even if... the way you care about me isn't exactly the way I realized I care about you, I'm still. I'm happy. Just being around you makes me so happy."
Ben shuts his eyes, giving himself a few seconds to just enjoy the feeling of Cole against his back, of their hands linked tightly. Everything is going so much better than he expected, but there's still so much more to say. A little part of him wants to accept this much, a victory, to call it enough and just cuddle together like this and not discuss the finer points, the things that might feel less perfect. But then he remembers Klaus cautioning him he couldn't just avoid things like he always does. That he has to face things head on.
And so he tries his best.
"We... haven't ever talked about whether... I mean I remember what you said, ages ago about... everybody else having their kisses and heartbreaks and the two of us were left out. But has anybody ever, um. Fallen for you before, or have you - been with people, or attracted to people, or - because I wondered once or twice, when you would talk about Rhys, but I didn't ever know and I wasn't sure if I should ask and I just. I've never... all this is new, for me, but it might not entirely be, for you?"