december 2019. welcome to the void.

[modblob]

Who: Everyone in Anchor.
What: Sixth Introductory Mingle
When: The Month of December 2019
Where: Around and outside the city.
Warnings: Please add any warnings in the subject lines.

Redshift: Welcome to the v͖͕̺̲̘̱̜͎o̴̦̣̠̦̘̹͞i̯̖d̛̪̬͈̱̦̝͍̕.

Click here to read what characters will experience when arriving in Anchor.

a. the generic holiday cheer prompt.

It's a dark, quiet, uneventful night. Only those up and about in the wee hours will notice something odd starting in the park.

It's snowing.

The phenomenon seems to be coming from a small bank of unmoving clouds hanging suspended above the trees and lake. A cloud that, upon closer inspection by any scientists in the room, appears to be made of harmless nanites whose sole purpose is to unleash a cheery, blustery kind of weather that remains mostly contained to the park.

Some bots are out serving hot chocolate, cider, flavored snow cones, and other small baked treats. Others are building a solid-looking bit of scaffolding that the snow is rapidly turning into a sledding ramp. In fact, there are sleds ready and waiting at the foot of the slide. The smaller ponds have frozen over in a sharp cold snap that came with the nanites' release, and there are other bots handing out ice skates - careful, though, because one of them is a chef bot and he's made the blades of the skates ridiculously sharp. At least they'll glide well?

Around the middle of the day, the intercoms squeal loudly, crackle, and start pouring generic seasonal music out into the air. Is it for Hanukkah? Christmas? Kwanzaa? Some strange holiday no one has heard of? Who knows, since half of it is in alien languages, but man, it sure is peppy! And kind of annoying after a while! Maybe someone should hack the system and change the music up?

b. the body heat trope prompt.

As the day wears on toward evening, the nanite winter storm starts to gather a little more force, sending cold seeping through the halls of Anchor. There are pockets of warmth here and there - notably, for once, the agricultural areas are largely unaffected thanks to their temperature regulators--but most of Anchor has a wintery chill, and snow is starting to bluster across the levels from bottom to top. Temperatures continue to drop when the suns go down.

The bots are out being helpful, though they can't stop the storm. They're rolling around handing out blankets and thermoses of warm drinks. Unfortunately, it's one blanket and one thermos per two people. Better get cosy - it's going to be a long, cold night!

c. the terrifying monster attack prompt.

The cold has woken up some creatures that have been slumbering away in one of the sealed-off areas of the labs. They couldn't get through the door that kept them caged, but they sure could freeze the windows and escape that way when they got cold enough to break. The little critters make a beeline for the park, prepared to wreak havoc-

If eating snow and ice and rolling snow into tiny balls for meal stockpiles is havoc.

These little creatures look conspicuously like the western dragons of Earth, though most are no bigger than a person's forearm. Their wings - some strange shade of white that sparkles when they move - seem largely decorative. They use them to communicate, to posture, and to keep themselves balanced when they rear up on their hind legs, but none of them appear able to fly. They're a mix of colors, blue and silver and white, some of them with a variety of shades swirling down their bodies, others with one color on their bellies and contrasting colors on their back and head. Some have splotches, or speckles, or tiger stripes of blue. They breathe steam and can freeze things with their clawed forepaws.

Also, if you feed them a flavored snow cone, they will follow you forever. No, really. You'll have yourself an undyingly loyal new pet.

Navigation.

Comments

[benhargreeves]

Ben doesn't have the advantage that Cole has - he doesn't know what Cole is going to say, before he says it. He only knows what Cole says out loud, and what he shows with his actions. Right now, all of his actions are caring and thoughtful and protective, keeping Ben safe from the cold, warming him up, taking care of him. But of course, Ben knows that is what Cole does. He cares about people. He is Compassion. His emotional range stretches broader than that but at the end of the day, that's who he is.

So he doesn't really know, before Cole says it, that there's anything different about the way Cole feels for him than how he feels for other people. And when he whispers what he does, Ben feels like he could burst from the joy of it. He doesn't want to trust it, to believe he really heard the words, in case he's wrong, or misinterpreting. But Cole put it so simply and it echoes again and again in his head. I don't care about other people like I care about you.

Everything else is details, and while many of those details are important ones, Ben knows that, it is still unbelievably good to know that he is special to Cole. That he stands out, that he means more. It might be a selfish impulse, that happiness, but Ben doesn't care. He wants to be valued in that way, to be special and different.

He reaches for Cole's hand and laces their fingers together, bringing their hands up to press against the center of his chest, too full of joy to even speak at first. When he does, the words are still hard to choose, but there isn't quite so much agony in saying them.

"I know you know already but that - makes me really happy, Cole. Even if... the way you care about me isn't exactly the way I realized I care about you, I'm still. I'm happy. Just being around you makes me so happy."

Ben shuts his eyes, giving himself a few seconds to just enjoy the feeling of Cole against his back, of their hands linked tightly. Everything is going so much better than he expected, but there's still so much more to say. A little part of him wants to accept this much, a victory, to call it enough and just cuddle together like this and not discuss the finer points, the things that might feel less perfect. But then he remembers Klaus cautioning him he couldn't just avoid things like he always does. That he has to face things head on.

And so he tries his best.

"We... haven't ever talked about whether... I mean I remember what you said, ages ago about... everybody else having their kisses and heartbreaks and the two of us were left out. But has anybody ever, um. Fallen for you before, or have you - been with people, or attracted to people, or - because I wondered once or twice, when you would talk about Rhys, but I didn't ever know and I wasn't sure if I should ask and I just. I've never... all this is new, for me, but it might not entirely be, for you?"

[killedwithlove]

The way their fingers lace feels good. Ben's hands aren't as calloused as his own, from years upon years of hard work and knife fighting and little care for them, but his fingers are long and feel right between his own. Ben's emotions surge and ebb through him, sweet and warming.

And then Ben mentions the name.

"Rhys... fell in love with Ser Evangeline. I don't know if I- I was very confused then. Lost. Falling. I had a, crush? On him? Maybe? I don't know. It wasn't like this. I felt very dependent on Rhys, I wanted him to be my everything because he already was but I was very disconnected from my human side. I didn't really remember being human or spirit or- anything." He's never spoken about any of this to anyone. Not even Cadash. "Rhys kissed my forehead once. But that's the most anyone ever wanted with me? From me? But no. I don't have any more experience than you."

[benhargreeves]

Ben listens, hanging on every word. He may not have Cole's powers but he cares about him so much, even this younger Cole from years before they had met. Ben's heart aches for him as he tries to articulate what the feelings were, how affection had been co-mingled with confusion and dependence. How that relationship had fundamentally been shaped by Cole not yet knowing who or what he was, not able to control who remembered him.

He listens gravely, full of empathy and care, as Cole quietly explains. And in the end, it turns out, they are in roughly the same place. Cole doesn't sound like he was even certain about having a crush on Rhys, and certainly he isn't used to being the object of anyone's crushes. Ben is grateful, now, in a way he hadn't thought to be before, that Cole is not dependent on him like that. That he knows himself, that he has had companions in his own world and the world he came to before this one.

Ben is feeling warm enough now that he gently pulls himself away from Cole, only so that he can roll over, see his face in the dim of the little blanket tent. Cole might be able to feel what Ben's feeling, but he still feels that need to look Cole in the eyes, to see his face and its expressions. Especially for what he's about to say. His heart is thudding away; he is elated and terrified. Ben stays close, the tips of their noses almost touching.

"I think. I want. More than that. With you."

He can feel the heat in his own face, even though Cole must know all this. He is confessing something that is old news, but it's important to him, to say it aloud.

"I want to kiss you. And- maybe other things. But... I don't- I wasn't sure - because you're a spirit - I mean I thought you might not - "

He has to pause, feeling himself growing less coherent. He closes his eyes, lets out a slow breath. If only he were like Klaus, and could talk about anything so openly, so directly. Ben takes a few seconds, opens his eyes again. He is refocused now on the main point he needed to make.

"But if you don't want any of that, that's okay. I - couldn't ever forgive myself if you felt like you had to change to keep me happy. You know that. I don't want you to change for me or force yourself to - try anything you don't want."

Underneath it all, clear and bright, is a coherent and intense emotional thread. Please don't let me hurt you. I couldn't bear to hurt you. Please don't let me say or do anything that will hurt you.

[killedwithlove]

That Cole had had literally no one but Rhys, when Rhys could afford him time. The human Cole had had no one, and whilst forgotten at the time, that had left an indelible stain across his soul.

Ben wriggles away so he can turn and Cole lets him, loosens his grip to give Ben space to move and then wriggles back in close, blinking to refocus his gaze so close.

Ben has lovely eyes. Dark and deep and emotive.

"I don't know if I'm interested in sex." Cole, unlike Ben, has no problem with being blunt about this. He remembers watching two mages, quick and frantic but their actions incited nothing in him, just a vague curiosity about why they'd risk punishment for it. "But I don't know if I'm not interested. I want to try kissing. I like the idea of kissing you. I haven't really been interested in kissing anyone before. You're different. And I won't let you hurt me. I'm Compassion, not Martyrdom."

[benhargreeves]

Ben's heart is racing, and he feels tingly and fuzzy all over, and he's pretty sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the cold. He doesn't even feel it, now. He's warm and nervous and the words ring over and over in his head. I like the idea of kissing you. Ben looks at Cole, the familiar shape of his face, those pale eyes and his cheeks and his lips. He swallows, carefully bringing a hand up, brushing fingertips along the Cole's cheek, his jaw, pushing back a stray strand of that pale hair of his. Ben feels like he can't breathe, in the most wonderful way.

I won't let you hurt me.

There's still something that catches in his chest, a terror that despite what Cole says, it's all going to go so wrong. That his dad was right and there's nothing inside him but vileness and evil, and if he lets Cole get any closer, it will ruin him, and it will all be Ben's fault.

But those echoes and ghosts are dim right now, overshadowed by how close Cole is, how his skin is soft and warm and he's here, just a few inches away, wanting to try kissing, wanting Ben to kiss him. It takes a long time, as such things go, for Ben to gather up the nerve. But that suits in a way, doesn't it? None of this happened as early for him as it did for most. None of it was easy. But that doesn't make it less.

He pulls together all the courage he has, and moves in close and kisses Cole.

It is a very soft and tentative brush of his lips, because he hasn't done this before, hasn't even pictured doing it in earnest before a few days ago. Everything about the moment feels fragile and precious and full of joy. Ben is surprised by it - had his own lips always been so sensitive? How had it never really hit him before now, what an intimate act this is? He shuts his eyes and kisses Cole, does his best not to overthink it and to just disappear into the blinding happiness of it, the incandescent feeling of being this close to someone.

After a few moments, Ben pulls back, dark eyes searching Cole's face, expectant and hopeful and nervous.

[killedwithlove]

Kept clean, Cole's hair is soft and silky and falls easily as Ben's fingers brush it. He can feel the anxiety flutter against Ben's ribs, trickle memories of ice cold fear down to his gut but the warmth of the moment brushes the cobwebs of frost back and away.

Time means nothing much to Cole. The moment is enough, however long or short the moment is, moments are what matter to spirits, what they experience and live in. This moment will be as long as it needs to be and nothing more or less.

It's alien, in a way. The first moment that Ben's mouth brushes his, warm with affection and tingling with anticipation, makes Cole shiver softly, feeling Ben's emotions sharper and feeling the physical interaction of their skin. It's not like hands, or cuddles, it's softer and brighter and without him having to focus, he leans in a little, eyes closing and breathing out as Ben moves back a little.

He opens his eyes and looks up at Ben with a faint smile.

[benhargreeves]

There isn't anything faint about the smile on Ben's face, as soon as he sees that Cole looks happy. It's so broad it almost hurts his cheeks, and he laughs softly, almost soundlessly. So. He had kissed someone. He had kissed Cole, and the world hadn't come crashing down around him. Nothing had been broken or ruined and Cole is smiling at him like maybe he had enjoyed it.

Ben buries his smiling face against the curve where Cole's neck meets his shoulder, hiding, but the joy that's radiating from him would be obvious even to someone without any powers at all. He clings tightly to Cole like this, all gratitude and delight.

After that rush of impulsive affection, Ben pulls away and asks, eager but also still nervous:

"Can we - do that again?"

Ben had heard Cole, earlier - what he said about maybe not being interested in sex, about not knowing one way or another. And the truth is, Ben doesn't exactly know, either, for himself. He's starting from the very beginning, here. Anything more than this is going to be a bridge he will cross, or at least contemplate, later. For now, just this is - revolutionary. Huge. All he's sure is that, right now, he would really like to kiss Cole again.

[killedwithlove]

While the cold snap persists, it's just them, tucked away in a little space together with no need to worry about anything else or anyone else because there's nothing to be done about it. Cole tangles them closer, because he loves the way it feels to have Ben so close, so their skin touches and he can't sense anything but Ben's joy and happiness, bubbling evanescence over him and through him, making him giggle as well.

"Yes."

And to make it clear, he leans in and kisses Ben this time, still innocent and chaste but full of warm affection.

[benhargreeves]

Ben can't remember ever liking a sound so much as he likes the sound of Cole's giggle. It's not just making someone happy - though that would be enough to delight Ben. It's not just making someone he cares about happy - that would already be icing on the cake. But it's the fact that it is Cole, and all the things Ben knows about him, and what he's been through, and how little affection or attention he has been shown. There may be a variety of reasons for that but it doesn't change the fact that no one has wanted this from Cole before and that proves, conclusively, that everyone else in the multiverse are complete and utter fools, compared to Ben. Because he gets to be here, snuggled close to Cole, hearing him laugh and seeing the light in those eyes of his, how it transforms him.

As he is kissing Cole back, all that Ben can think about is how much he likes the person who Cole is, how much he wants to give him things that will make him happy - whether those are gifts or words or his time or soft, tentative kisses. Now that they are here, now that Ben knows that Cole is okay with all this, he lets himself really enjoy it. None of that confusion and hesitation and shame and alarm he had felt in flashes, when they would touch before. Ben kisses Cole, but he brings a hand up to to run his fingers through Cole's hair, letting the strands slip through his grasp, petting at him, tucking that hair behind Cole's ear, just playing with it with silent joy.

This is really happening. He is here, with this person he likes more than he ever thought would be possible, and Ben lets himself test out these soft little touches, fingertips feeling Cole's ear, his cheek, his neck. It's curious, and playful, and a little bit reverent, too.

Ben isn't thinking about wanting anything more than this, or about what people will say when they hear about this, or about if he might hurt Cole if he isn't careful. He is just... happy.

[killedwithlove]

Cole has touched a lot of people. Held hands and heads, to help with water or tears, or potions or a final promise to pass a message that only he hears but is intended to land in someone else's heart. He's sat by Dorian, stroking his hair back while he throws up rotgut liquor and he has spent long moments by Blackwall, plucking metal shrapnel from his arm and shoulder. He's laid down with his head on Cassandra's lap while she reads or leaning against The Iron Bull's massive back, head resting on the atlas of his shoulders.

But no one touches him. Not since Jove on the fleet, and Rhys before that, but Ben is. Ben is touching him and every contact is so full of his emotions that it actually leaves tiny, glowing marks over his skin when he does, marking how much kindness and compassion Ben has and fills him with.

They share three kisses, four, Cole stops counting because he's stealing breaths between their lips and can't stop himself smiling as he does so.

[benhargreeves]

Ben's mind sinks into a happy kind of haze, lying there and kissing Cole. The closest thing he could compare it to was how he had felt, during that sap festival, with Cole lying close, reading out loud to him. Like time is slipping by without even touching them. Like no one else in the world exists and nothing matters but the space between them.

At some point he pulls away - not much, still close enough that the tips of their noses are touching. The smile on Cole's face is just... perfect. Ben's heart skips, and he does his best to impress this moment into his memory. He wants to keep this, bottle it up and have it with him forever. No matter what happens after this, he wants to remember this. And before he knows it, doing that is getting harder because his vision is swimming, tears welling up, hot and quick and unexpected. He keeps moving his fingers in Cole's hair, even as he sucks in a shaky breath, overwhelmed by the intensity of his own happiness.

He had been so certain, that he would never have this. Never kiss anyone. Never lie close to someone like this. Never run his fingers through someone's hair like this. Never know someone like Cole, who could ever want to be near enough to him to allow anything like that. But Cole is here, and so precious. He's not afraid of Ben, doesn't pity him, doesn't find him disgusting. Cole knows him, inside and out, and is still smiling at him like that. So it isn't really any wonder, that the tears keep coming, and Ben can't hold them back.

"Thank you, Cole. Thank you for-"

But he doesn't have the words, for all the ways Cole has helped him, healed him, made him so grateful to be alive and here and existing. It's such a new thing, to be glad to exist. Ben touches Cole's face, runs fingertips softly along his cheekbone, like he is the most precious thing Ben has ever touched.

His voice is thick with emotion, but none of it is fear anymore as he asks:

"So, is this - can I - what do you think about... about being my boyfriend?"

[killedwithlove]

When the tears come, Cole doesn't stop the light kissing and touching, because sometimes, people just need to cry. The body needs to do something to deal with all the emotions and vent them out and tears are often involved.

What he does is move to kiss them away, up Ben's cheeks and then lightly over his eyelids and then letting Ben draw back and simply touch.

The word doesn't mean anything but the intent flickers familiar. "Courting," he finally replies. "We're courting. That's what you mean. Yes, we are."

[benhargreeves]

When Cole kisses his tears away, Ben's throat goes tight; for a few moments, he silently cries harder. Not because it is bad - quite the opposite. It is simply overwhelming, being treated with so much gentleness. Ben had spent so much of his life, and after-life, wanting gentleness just like this. Now that it is being given to him, he feels a rush of emotions, powerful and beyond words.

The tension breaks, however, when Cole says they are courting and Ben giggles, hiccupy and joyful. How strange and wonderful and perfect his life is, right at this moment!

"Courting. I really like that."

Ben has read enough old novels and trashy romance to love the idea of courting someone. Particularly if that someone is Cole. And... in a way, it's good, having a different word for it. 'Dating' seems... off. Like they should be strangers buying awkward dinners, playing games with one another, going through a script that has always excluded people like Ben, one way or another.

"What do you want me to call you, then? My... I don't know. Sweetheart? Companion? What's the word they use for it, in Thedas?"

Ben's touches drift from Cole's hair, lightly fingering the fabric of Cole's unfamiliar shirt. He meets Cole's eyes and adds:

"I like these, too. Trying something new?"

A flicker of uncertainty, there. He had brought up Cole's clothes, to Cole. Had Cole changed only because he thought it was what Ben would want? He doesn't want Cole to feel like he has to alter himself, adapt to be more like other people, to make Ben happy.

[killedwithlove]

Dating is a weird word. Courting is much more appropriate. They go on dates, but they are courting. Clearly. Courting is about more than just the dates. It's about the spaces between as well.

"There's lots of terms. Dorian murmurs amatus in his own tongue. Vhenan from the lips of the Dalish, whispered in pointed ears and smiles scrunching their vallaslin. Love, heart, beloved, the words change but the meaning is the same, in the heart." It's the only way he can explain it.

"Yes! Because... I thought getting clean was always not nice, like the decontamination wash, but the showers were nice and the hot spring, and so I thought maybe clean clothes would be the same. And they were. But when I washed my shoes they stopped being one piece of leather and became lots of individual pieces that didn't want to be the shape they were before."

His shoes disintegrated when he washed them. This should surprise no one given the state they were in.

[benhargreeves]

Even the way Cole talks about the range of affectionate nicknames people have for one another makes Ben's heart skip a little. Thinking of himself as among that number - a person who has someone they can call their something - is thrilling and new. The words themselves mean nothing to him (well, that one sounds a bit like Latin almost?) but he thinks he gets Cole's point. The sound itself isn't as important as the feeling behind it.

"So... you're okay with me using whatever word for you feels right, once I find it?"

Ben is a careful sort of person. He isn't going to decide all at once, if he knows that Cole won't mind him trying out a few options. After all, the meaning in his heart won't be changing.

It is a relief that Cole says he looked for clean clothes for his own sake, because he realized that there might be something better, more comfortable, available to him. It doesn't really surprise Ben, that his shoes had finally fallen apart. They were only being kept in one piece by pure luck, at this point. Ben makes a mental note to himself, to find Cole some good shoes, and the fuzziest socks he can scavenge. Nothing to be done about it now, though, with the strange cold keeping them confined here.

Besides... Ben can't imagine wanting to move anywhere just now. He nestles himself in closer against Cole, tucking his face against the curve of Cole's neck where it meets his shoulder, pressing near him so that they are holding each other, sharing warmth. The cold can't reach them now and Ben's limbs feel heavy and exhausted from the series of intense emotions - worry and then relief and extreme happiness.

"I know outsides don't matter as much to you, but for what it's worth... you look really cute, in this."

And Ben lets himself feel it, without his mind flinching away, without trying to hide it from Cole or himself or anyone. That feeling of thinking that Cole looks good, in these new clothes. Of not just intensely wanting to be around Cole, wanting to make him happy and talk to him and be near him, but of liking the way the outside of him looks and feels. Being attracted to him.

"'m gonna give you one of my hoodies. I've got more than one and - and I know how nice they are and I want you to have one."

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. The language and word don't matter, they're... outside things. I can hear the inside that goes with it." And that's the thing that Cole cares about.

"We don't have to move. In fact, we need to not leave, so that you don't freeze. Especially now we've got some warmth in here." He rolls slightly onto his back, encouraging Ben to come with him, cuddle on against him, relax because the rush of emotions and the rush to survive have passed and he needs to recover now. "Okay. I'd like a hoodie. They look comfortable. And if it's from you, it will be extra warm and soft and special." He reaches to softly stroke Ben's hair back. "If you need to sleep, that's okay. I'll stay here with you, I promise."

[benhargreeves]

Ben nods; they need to stay here, which is just fine, because right now all the rest of the world and all the multiverses don't even feel real. It's like this little bubble of theirs is all that exists. Just him, and Cole, and the happiness of imagining what Cole will look like wearing one of his hoodies, and what else he can do in the future to make Cole feel extra warm and soft and special.

At first, Ben can't imagine going to sleep at a time like this. He is exhausted, sure, but he has just gone through something momentous, and the idea of rest seems absurd. He is never going to sleep again - he is going to be awake forever sustained just on remembering Cole's smile and how it felt to kiss him...

Which is what he is thinking as he begins blinking slower and slower, as his breaths even out and all his muscles relax, and soon enough he is asleep with his head on Cole's chest, cuddled in tight against him. Ben isn't entirely unused to sleeping near someone; he and Klaus would climb into each other's beds when they were kids and scared or had had awful days. They've even done the same from time to time, here, though moreso in the early days, when Ben was still adjusting to being alive again, and before Klaus had started spending as much time with Julie.

Still, this is the first time he has done so with anyone that isn't his closest brother. But he doesn't have any trouble, drifting off, with Cole so near. Even as he rests, his mind is a haze of happiness; it clings to him, even in his dreamless sleep.