Open: A Kindness to soothe the hurts

[killedwithlove]

Cole is what he is because of what he does and so what he does is try and help.

He doesn't understand electricity, or computers, or what 'genes' are. He can't cook because he doesn't eat and he barely recognises the robots as existing because they lack the thing that makes him realise they're real.

So he lets himself sit, quiet and open and he listens for the hurts he can help. The things that need soothing and the emotional wounds that fester and need lancing and the aches that just need airing to begin healing.

And when he hears it, he follows.

OOC: (Cole is a spirit of Compassion and has an instinctively understanding of what is troubling people and what might help them recover. This can be as simple as listening to someone talk, or as complex as setting up a situation that would allow them to relax and forget about it for a while.

If your muse needs (or wants) some kindness, leave a top level and Cole will come to help.)

Comments

[killedwithlove]

"I don't sleep because I'm not a mortal person. But sleeping is part of self care for you. Your body needs sleep and you deserve to have the things you need."

Cole isn't comfortable talking about himself for long.

[itsnotaonesie]

Oh God he's doing the not-quite-mind reading thing again. Peter will never have secrets again!!

"Ah... I mean, yeah, I need sleep? I just have a hard time gettin' to sleep sometimes."

[killedwithlove]

"Yes. Lots of people at Skyhold had trouble going to sleep. Racing thoughts, shadows in shadows, is that an armoured footfall outside, where will we get enough elfroot to keep them all alive, the caravans are running late, the delegation is due tomorrow and the rooms haven't even been finished, let alone cleaned, the demons keep pouring through the rifts, why me, why is this-?"

He cuts off, shaking his head and pressing his hands to his eyes. "It was very loud sometimes. The Fleet was quieter, but that was because of all the space."

[itsnotaonesie]

Peter can't relate with demons or delegations, but racing thoughts? Oooh yeah, he understands that way too well. Are the shields holding? Are there any radiation leaks anywhere that he hasn't found yet? Is anyone getting eaten by mutant space lizards right now? Did Kabal's stupid ass actually go to the Medbay like he said he would? There's almost always something on Peter's mind, and more often than not it's enough to get him out of bed to go take care of right now since he can't sleep anyway. It's exhausting, bro.

"Would you say it's loud here?"

[killedwithlove]

"No. There's not enough people for it to be very loud. The Anchor is loud sometimes, during the Red Shift it screams and slices, but it's usually fairly quiet." He rocks back and forth a bit, thinking.

"There's other people with experience fighting and defending and looking after people. It's not all on you. If Kabal doesn't go to Medbay, that's on him, not you. He can make his own choices, even if you don't agree with them."

[itsnotaonesie]

"The whole... screaming and slicing thing actually sounds really unpleasant."

Oh God he did it again. Stop thinking! Stop feeling!! Dammit, can't stop thinking, too much brain. Just think about something totally innocent. Like kittens! Peter's kitten is great, it doubles as a night light and tries to chew on his hair when he's trying to sleep. Poison's cats are starting to get along with it better, which is good! Sometimes they like to clump together in a cat pile and take naps in Poison's lap and she looks adorable covered in cats- DON'T THINK ABOUT POISON, PETER.

"Let's- let's talk more about the horrible screaming and slicing, that sounds- horrible, actually. We shouldn't do that at all."

[killedwithlove]

Cole watches Peter, as his thoughts tumble over kittens, soft things to try and ignore the sharp edges in his mind and Poison... Hm. Interesting. He supposes.

"If she makes you happy, there's nothing wrong with that."

[itsnotaonesie]

"I didn't say that! I-I didn't say anything actually, but... I mean, okay, I wouldn't not say that- I mean, she- it's... it's complicated."

Its not complicated at all, he just has a bad case of the doki's and he doesn't know what to do about it. He's trying very hard to think about kittens again but it's JUST not working, man.

[killedwithlove]

"Why is it complicated?" The question is asked in total innocence.

[itsnotaonesie]

See now Peter's brain goes completely blank because he has no idea???? He over complicates everything and just confuses himself, because he's Peter Parker.

"I uh. It- it's just... Maybe- maybe it's not complicated? I dunno, man, it's... I dunno."

That was not even a tiny bit helpful, was it. SORRY DUDE.

[killedwithlove]

"If you like her, don't waste your time. You might have years. You might have hours. You don't want more regrets." Rhys and Evangeline had nearly lost their time. Wynne had lost her son forever.

[itsnotaonesie]

"...I have never felt more called out than I do in this moment." Which, considering how many times he's been called out since arriving here, is a big deal.

"I mean, you're not wrong, I just... Don't know what to do, I guess."

And he's probably not about to ask the guy that lives in a cupboard for dating advice.

[killedwithlove]

"You tell her what she means to you. People don't know what they mean unless you tell them. They need to hear the outside say what the inside is already saying."

He reaches out, one finger pointing at Peter's heart. "You already know what you feel. You just have to be brave enough to let that show on the outside as well as the inside. And you are brave, braver than you know. The fear of not knowing is worse than anything else."

[itsnotaonesie]

Oh man Cole is so right but Peter's terrified that he's gonna fuck it up somehow. He has this amazing ability to just over complicate the simplest things. Like telling a girl he likes her. Simple! Unless your name is Peter Parker.

"What- what if she's not... like, what if she doesn't feel the same way, though? I don't wanna make things weird, y'know?"

[killedwithlove]

"Then you'll know. And she'll know. Things are weird if you let them be. Expectations make it weird, actions, not emotions. If she doesn't feel the same, you accept it and cherish what you have."

Cole leans in, voice quiet. "And what if she does feel the same?"

[itsnotaonesie]

Peter was starting to chill out a little, because yeah, it's not the end of the world if she just wants to be friends. Peter likes friends, friends are great, you can never have too many friends. It's fiiiine, nothing to freak out about. See? Peter's calming down.

Until Cole leans in and says that. WHAT IF SHE DOES FEEL THE SAME THOUGH??? Peter's heart feels like it's going to just thump right out of his chest fuuuck why are emotions so hard.

"I- well, I mean, that... would be great, but uh. I guess I'm not gonna know unless I say something to her, huh?"

[killedwithlove]

Cole smiles. It's a genuine, warm thing, if still quite small and subdued seeming. But from Cole, it's huge. "Exactly. Uncertainty is worse than any outcome. Either way, it won't chew you up and add to the frayed edges."

[itsnotaonesie]

It's a good smile! It's got a nice comforting, reassuring vibe to it.

"That's a good point. Really good point. I think my edges are already frayed enough as it is."

[killedwithlove]

Cole nods. "Be kind to yourself. Tell her."

He won't say how she feels, even if he does know. No spoilers. Varric said so.

[itsnotaonesie]

It doesn't even occur to Peter to ask this guy how Poison feels anyway, so it's all good.

"I'll definitely tell her, absolutely. Just... as soon as I work up the nerve, I'll tell her."

Something else to add to his to-do list, he's totally got this.

[killedwithlove]

"No." Cole shakes his head. "Not sometime. Sometime will be never. There'll always be something else you can do, that you can say matters more."

[itsnotaonesie]

Today is the day of Peter getting literally all of his bullshit called out, it seems. Now he's just flustered. Come on man, give the kid a break (but don't though).

"I- I just mean I'm not gonna run out and do it like, right now, y'know? I kinda just like, suck? At talking? I wanna plan it out first, y'know?"

[killedwithlove]

"Why not? What is there to plan? Find her, tell her what you like and respect about her and then let her respond." Cole meets Peter's gaze and holds it, looking a little sad. "Cole died alone, unmissed and unloved by anything in the world. Anything could happen tomorrow, don't waste time making excuses."

[itsnotaonesie]

Oh no Cole just made this really sad and horrible. Peter has no idea how to reply to this, it's just SO SAD, COLE. Eventually he nods, slowly exhaling a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"By plan I just meant... I dunno, maybe get her something nice? I should just skip all that?"

He's crap at talking to girls can you tell.

[killedwithlove]

"You don't need gifts. You're telling her how you feel and letting her respond. You're giving her your respect and affection and your honesty? What could be nicer than that?"