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redshiftlogs2019-10-05 10:00 pm
modblob) wrote in redshiftlogs2019-10-05 10:00 pm
october 2019. welcome to the void.
Who: Everyone in Anchor.
What: Fourth Introductory Mingle
When: The Month of October 2019
Where: Around and outside the city.
Warnings: Please add any warnings in the subject lines.
What: Fourth Introductory Mingle
When: The Month of October 2019
Where: Around and outside the city.
Warnings: Please add any warnings in the subject lines.
Redshift: Welcome to the v͖͕̺̲̘̱̜͎o̴̦̣̠̦̘̹͞i̯̖d̛̪̬͈̱̦̝͍̕.
Click here to read what characters will experience when arriving in Anchor.
a. sini express delivery service.
There's something odd rolling through Anchor. Whether they wake with it next to their beds or find it sitting neatly in some corridor as if placed there just for them, characters will start finding items that are distinct and unique enough that they have to belong to someone. But where are they coming from? And whose are they?
The easiest way to find out is probably to walk around with the item held high yelling "Does this belong to you?" but that's not a good way to cover a lot of ground.
Don't worry, though! There's someone (something?) to help you. Chiming in periodically from communicators or intercoms across Anchor comes a voice that might sound a little familiar to anyone who made it as far as that spaceship wreckage in the wasteland. Softly laughing and humming, this some-one-thing will cheerfully coax characters in the right direction, giving tips and offering little clues to anyone who might be confused about whose item they have.
Characters struggling with identifying whose item they got might hear a helpful voice whispering out of their device as they move around the city - "Warmer, waaaaarmer...oh no! COLD!" They might hear a laughing voice coming out of a nearby speaker, giving tips or riddles about the person the item belongs to - "Her eyes are grey!" or "What kind of spider is sweet as pie?" Sometimes, it'll just be amused giggling at the efforts of those trying to find their object's owner. That bubbly voice is everywhere, encouraging residents to solve the riddle because "It'll be wooooorth it. Pinky swear!"
And no matter what, it can't be turned off or muted, and it doesn't respond to any direct attempts to communicate in return.
The easiest way to find out is probably to walk around with the item held high yelling "Does this belong to you?" but that's not a good way to cover a lot of ground.
Don't worry, though! There's someone (something?) to help you. Chiming in periodically from communicators or intercoms across Anchor comes a voice that might sound a little familiar to anyone who made it as far as that spaceship wreckage in the wasteland. Softly laughing and humming, this some-one-thing will cheerfully coax characters in the right direction, giving tips and offering little clues to anyone who might be confused about whose item they have.
Characters struggling with identifying whose item they got might hear a helpful voice whispering out of their device as they move around the city - "Warmer, waaaaarmer...oh no! COLD!" They might hear a laughing voice coming out of a nearby speaker, giving tips or riddles about the person the item belongs to - "Her eyes are grey!" or "What kind of spider is sweet as pie?" Sometimes, it'll just be amused giggling at the efforts of those trying to find their object's owner. That bubbly voice is everywhere, encouraging residents to solve the riddle because "It'll be wooooorth it. Pinky swear!"
And no matter what, it can't be turned off or muted, and it doesn't respond to any direct attempts to communicate in return.
b. flu season.
No one probably takes special notice, at first. It's a sniffle here, a cough or chill there. 'Tis the season in some universe, after all, and even the advanced decontamination process isn't completely flawless. But what starts as a tickle in the throat gets a little worse over the span of a week, or in some cases a lot worse.
Whether laid up for a few days or longer, afflicted characters can expect to feel a few consistent symptoms. Dizziness, lightheadedness, chills and fever, coughing and sneezing (that kind of sneezing that comes in annoyingly long bursts and makes you feel like you've shot your brain out of your nose).
Oh, and hallucinations. Mild ones! Nothing to write home about! (If you even could, anyway.) Hallucinations are the last stage of this mild interuniversal flu, an annoyance more than anything...
And it leaves some people immune, and some people even more susceptible to what might follow.
Whether laid up for a few days or longer, afflicted characters can expect to feel a few consistent symptoms. Dizziness, lightheadedness, chills and fever, coughing and sneezing (that kind of sneezing that comes in annoyingly long bursts and makes you feel like you've shot your brain out of your nose).
Oh, and hallucinations. Mild ones! Nothing to write home about! (If you even could, anyway.) Hallucinations are the last stage of this mild interuniversal flu, an annoyance more than anything...
And it leaves some people immune, and some people even more susceptible to what might follow.
c. harvestival festival.
Something good is happening in the agricultural sector. Weird, right?
But lo, the whole place has started to bloom seemingly overnight. Tiny fruits become noticeable, then large. Edible vegetation is flourishing, and you can tell which vegetation is edible thanks to the flocks, gangs, and small herds of creatures that have emerged from the still-wild depths of the sector. None of these creatures are aggressive except as a means to protect themselves when scared. Unused to strangers as they are, they'll probably let you get pretty close! Which means you could hunt them, I guess, or try to lasso and bring home some critters to the farm and fenced areas.
The food varies wildly. From electric pink berries the size of a pinkie to giant purple melons nestled in beds of vines. The tastes are as exotic and strange as the fruits themselves. A few people might even recognize some kinds of fruit from home. The root vegetables, squash, and edible vegetation is as colorful as the fruit, though a little more weirdly shaped. Why does that carrot-seeming thing look like a coiled spring? Who knows? You can't judge its life.
The culinarily inclined can take harvested goods to the kitchen areas and start experimenting, but beware! Even plants that look like they could be from Earth or other areas that the residents of Anchor know probably taste a little weirder or more intense than normal. Your best bet for a good recipe is to taste a little bit of everything before you get started. The spicy, the melony, the crunchy, salty, and sweet. There are no available records of what any of these things are, so you'll have to make it up as you go! The only consistent thing across all the agricultural sector's bounty is that NONE of it is poisonous. And none of it will get you high, Klaus and Kabal, so don't get your hopes up.
But lo, the whole place has started to bloom seemingly overnight. Tiny fruits become noticeable, then large. Edible vegetation is flourishing, and you can tell which vegetation is edible thanks to the flocks, gangs, and small herds of creatures that have emerged from the still-wild depths of the sector. None of these creatures are aggressive except as a means to protect themselves when scared. Unused to strangers as they are, they'll probably let you get pretty close! Which means you could hunt them, I guess, or try to lasso and bring home some critters to the farm and fenced areas.
The food varies wildly. From electric pink berries the size of a pinkie to giant purple melons nestled in beds of vines. The tastes are as exotic and strange as the fruits themselves. A few people might even recognize some kinds of fruit from home. The root vegetables, squash, and edible vegetation is as colorful as the fruit, though a little more weirdly shaped. Why does that carrot-seeming thing look like a coiled spring? Who knows? You can't judge its life.
The culinarily inclined can take harvested goods to the kitchen areas and start experimenting, but beware! Even plants that look like they could be from Earth or other areas that the residents of Anchor know probably taste a little weirder or more intense than normal. Your best bet for a good recipe is to taste a little bit of everything before you get started. The spicy, the melony, the crunchy, salty, and sweet. There are no available records of what any of these things are, so you'll have to make it up as you go! The only consistent thing across all the agricultural sector's bounty is that NONE of it is poisonous. And none of it will get you high, Klaus and Kabal, so don't get your hopes up.
no subject
Don't you dare cry Peter Parker don't you FUCKING do it.
Mm, nope that's exactly what he's doing. Once the tears start coming, they don't stop coming, and he's too ashamed of himself for breaking down in front of Qubit like some kind of kid to make himself maintain eye contact.]
It-- it feels like nothing is ever enough. I don't... I don't know what's wrong with me, I just... I just can't stop thinking about it, about- about how I could have done something different, or- or whatever. And if I'm not focusing on stuff here I'm thinking about that, and I don't- I don't know what to do. I know I can't just go back and fix it, but I'm like... I'm stuck on it, I guess?
no subject
We're not so different, you and I...
And for some reason, the comparison fills him with a sudden, deep revulsion, intense enough that it physically wrenches his stomach. But it's not on his own behalf. They're nothing alike, because Peter did nothing wrong.
Qubit, too, has gone over every inflection point in his memory ad nauseum, trying to find a path to a better outcome - no matter the cost. Even if it means taking the Plutonian's place himself as history's greatest monster.
Qubit never stops working, either, but not just to keep his head above an ocean of regrets that would otherwise drown him. It's because every day he doesn't think about it is another day he can avoid the risk of forgiving himself. Because every distraction, every new project, every crisis, he needs them to keep his hands busy, because if he doesn't, he knows the devil will find work for them to do -
Peter did nothing wrong. He doesn't deserve to suffer like this.
He's nothing like you.
He's so much better. ]
I ...
I wish ... I had an answer for you.
[ His voice is uneven, from a throat that's gone painfully tight. His vision blurs. ]
The- the truth is, I don't know what will help. Perhaps nothing will. I just... I just know you can't keep on like this. You're brilliant, Peter, absolutely brilliant! You're one of the kindest, most selfless people I've ever met. You could do such incredible things! And yet-!
[ He blinks one too many times, and he can't stop the tears flowing, either. ]
This thing you're carrying, this guilt, this fear, you can't keep letting it rule your life! It'll eat you alive, just like -
[ Even before he says it, everything in him is screaming no, stop, don't tell him, he doesn't have to know - but it's out of his mouth before he can stop it. ]
- just like it did to Tony!
no subject
He listens, releasing his grip on Qubit's arm so he can rub at his eyes, try to compose himself a bit. Just trying not to look as bothered by what Qubit's saying as he is. Logically he knows that Qubit's right, if he keeps on the way he's been keepin' on he's going to burn out. The possibility that nothing can help him with this is scary, but it's something he's going to have to figure out later.
For now he pushes that to the back of his mind, because Qubit seems to be on about something personal all of a sudden and Peter is immediately worried about him.]
...So, obviously this is coming from somewhere.
[Though still uneven, his voice is considerably calmer, like he's managed to switch off "teenager mode" and get his head back into the game. At least for now. His head is still all over the place, but he has something besides himself to focus on for now.]
What happened, Qubit?
no subject
No. No, no, no, this isn't how it's supposed to go. How did you manage to make it about yourself, you goddamn fool?! He tries to collect himself, wipe the tears away, look anywhere but Peter's eyes - but he only partly succeeds, and anyway the damage is done. ]
That - don't change the subject.
no subject
[Not that Peter's bothered by it. If anything he's thankful to have something to change the subject to, even if it's just to another horrible topic. It also gives him a moment to realize that they look kind of ridiculous just standing there clinging to each other, soooo he's going to scoot over to his bed and have a seat on it, gesturing for Qubit to do the same.]
Why don't we level the playing field a bit. I'm sitting here bawling my stupid eyes out at you about all of my problems, and I know nothing about you.
no subject
Qubit lets Peter go, but he doesn't sit down. He leans against his own bed, his arms folded tightly against his chest, face contorted from the effort of reining his feelings back in.
He fucked up. He was trying to help by drawing on his experience and he fucked it all up. Now he's caught in an emotional minefield, and Peter has him in his crosshairs. No matter what he does, he's not getting out of this in one piece. Think, damn you, what else are you good for? What are his options? Lying's unacceptable, of course - but if he says nothing, he risks losing Peter's trust -
God, what the hell's wrong with him? Making this into a tactical situation? Peter's not his enemy! He's not some resource to be manipulated! He's a amazing young man who's quickly earned Qubit's admiration, and that's not something lightly given. Qubit has to tell him something. He deserves that much.
... But it won't be everything. He can't - he can't tell him everything.
He's not brave enough. ]
... You know I'm a superhero.
[ Am. Was. Tried to be. He may not have directly stated it before, but it's easy enough to infer. ]
no subject
Or, maybe it's just that hard for Qubit to talk about. If he's having this much trouble just coming out with it, it must be something really awful. Peter does feel bad for prying, especially considering how badly this is affecting Qubit, but it's a little too late to turn back now.]
Yeah, I figured.
[And he knows that being a superhero can be absolutely horrible sometimes, so he's definitely not expecting this to go anywhere good.]
no subject
... And of course the crying didn't improve his nasal situation. He sniffs grossly a few times before he gives up and grabs a tissue box from a bedside table, taking a few and offering the rest to Peter. Blowing his nose buys him a few more seconds, anyway. ]
I was... on a team called the Paradigm. Not unlike your Avengers, I assume. It was the first of its kind - supers had only started going public about a year before.
[ A new paradigm in more ways than one. The mere existence of people like them frightened people, challenged everything humanity knew about the universe and their place in it. The team gave them a measure of stability, put names to faces, told them you needn't fear us, we'll use these gifts to protect you. ]
The face of the team, the man who came up with the idea to begin with - was the Plutonian. Tony, to his friends. And I was privileged to count myself among them. He -
[ His throat is tightening again. He swallows, wheezes for a second. ]
He was the greatest hero I ever knew.
[ Samsara, exhausted, sitting halfway out of his grave. "I worshipped him." "We all did, Sam." ]
no subject
Just judging by Qubit's little outburst a minute ago, Peter can already see where this is going, and it's nowhere good. This obviously isn't easy for him to talk about. Peter's half tempted to stop him, but at the same time he can't help but be curious, especially since all this stupid shit he was pulling lately reminded Qubit so much of this Tony guy. This conversation probably won't be easy for either of them, but it's also probably something that Peter needs to hear.]
It sounds like things didn't stay great.
no subject
No. But for a while, they were. We achieved things together that dwarfed what we could have done individually. But Tony... Tony was the first and the best. Leagues above the rest of us. He could hear a cry for help from anywhere in the world, and he could be there in seconds. He could light an inferno with his eyes and put it out with his breath. If the moon had fallen, he could have caught it and put it back with his bare hands. That's the level of power he had at his disposal.
[ He's not even exaggerating that much. It certainly would have been within Tony's potential; not much was outside it. The only real constraint on his abilities had ever been his lack of curiosity about them. ]
By the numbers alone, he was more effective than everyone else combined. He saved the world too many times to count. He was an inspiration to everyone on the planet. But even he couldn't save everyone he wanted to. He was still, at his core - essentially human. He had limits. He had vices. He ... made mistakes.
[ Hahaha understatement of the fucking millennium. He pauses for a moment, taking care not to steer down that road. ]
... Not that he ever told us about. Or anyone, for that matter. He thought ... he thought he had to be perfect. He felt like no matter how much he did, how many millions and billions of lives he saved, it wasn't enough. He couldn't let go of his mistakes. He was afraid. Afraid that if he slipped, or let his guard down, even for a second, catastrophe would follow.
[ He finally hazards eye contact. ] Sound familiar?
no subject
But then it quickly becomes apparent exactly where Qubit's going with this, and Peter immediately shifts from being impressed to feeling... he's not quite sure, really. Guilty that he's reminding Qubit so much of this guy who he clearly admired, who apparently hadn't been able to get his shit together in the end or else Qubit probably wouldn't be this upset over him. Whatever had happened, Peter doesn't want to put him through that again, but there's also this newly developing fear that he's not going to be able to sort himself out. He doesn't want to be like this, he just doesn't know how to stop.
Peter glances up at Qubit's face, only to find him looking right back at him. The eye contact doesn't last long thanks to that guilt he's got building up, and he looks down at his lap with a huff.]
Yeah, I mean, that's almost word for word what I said. I just came out to grab some cough drops and I'm honestly feeling so called out right now.
[He's silent for a moment, pausing to rub at his eyes and just try to get himself a little more composed.] He didn't... get better, did he. Just um, kind of the vibe I'm getting from all this.
no subject
Qubit hangs his head, his eyes closed, and he's quiet for ... a few breaths. Even when he answers, he's still quiet. ]
It broke him.
[ 9th July 2009. A terrified call from Sam, Metalman's Code Black, Citadel's last seconds through his own eyes, Qubit, don't let me die- His face tightens, and he rubs his eyes. No, that's all the more detail he's going to provide on that.
Wouldn't be useful, anyway. Peter and Tony are fundamentally very different people, with very different motives. Despite appearances, Tony was never truly an altruist - he couldn't relate to humanity as an equal, because he'd never been their equal. His fear was of rejection, born out of a desperate need to be loved. Peter's, on the other hand, seems to rise from genuine compassion. He could be wrong about that, of course, but Peter's not the actor Tony was, either.
Point being, they wouldn't break along the same lines. There's no sense burdening Peter with that particular worry. ]
I tried -
[ to save him. I tried everything. He can't get the words out, though, and on second thought that's not a road he wants to go down, either. ]
... I can't let something like that happen again. Not to you.
no subject
Sometimes even superheroes need help though, and maybe that's okay. Maybe Qubit has his own reasons for it, but he sounds like he's more than willing to help. Maybe it could help them both heal.]
I... I'm sorry about all this. Thank you for-- for telling me this stuff, I know it can't be easy. The last thing I want is to be a burden on you, especially with everything else going on around here, but I don't think I can do this on my own. Like- God, half the time I don't even realize when I'm going too hard on myself.
no subject
Fifteen months and change, and he's never talked about this. Not once. Hell, it must have been almost a year before he so much as mentioned the Paradigm - and that was during a moment when he'd literally forgotten they were dead. (Magic is bullshit, by the way.) The closest he's ever come to spilling his guts was with Max, but... Max was only a kid, even younger than Peter, and he had his own trauma to deal with. So in the end, Qubit had just gathered up the pieces and ... shoved them into the general shape they'd occupied before, and kept going. And since nobody there knew him before, nobody could tell the difference.
Even now - he can't rightly call this "opening up." It's more like... a crack being pried open that was already there. Just because he's learned to live with the cracks doesn't mean they're gone. And while initially it hurt as if it had happened yesterday, now he just feels... numb. Hollow. There's no sense of relief or catharsis, no great weight lifted off his chest. Just... a whole lot of nothing. He can't even summon the energy to go on weeping.
... Well. Irrelevant. Did it help Peter? That's all that matters right now. Qubit meets his eyes again, visibly drained, but still determined. ]
We can work on that. Learning to pace yourself is a good place to start.
[ He leans across the gap and firmly clasps Peter's shoulder. ]
You're never a burden, Peter. Never. You need anything at all, for any reason, even if it's just to talk - my line is always open, day or night. All right? [ He squeezes. ] You don't have to go it alone.
no subject
Peter doesn't look away his time, inhaling a shaky breath and nodding when Qubit gives his shoulder a squeeze. He understands, he really does. He just hopes he'll be able to continue to believe it all. For now he's doing better, and- fuck it. He pushes himself up from the bed he's been sitting on and pulls Qubit into a tight hug. But not too tight, he still needs his ribs.]
Sorry if- if this is too weird, but... I just- thanks. I mean it, like... Thanks.
no subject
Turns out Qubit's a huggy person! Who knew. Peripherally, it occurs to him that... he's unsure how long it's been since he hugged another human being? Maybe he really has been too isolated. Well, let's table that for now. ]
Of course.
[ He waits until Peter's ready before pulling back, a weary smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth. ]
Now, you know, this is the part where I start threatening to put you into cold sleep if you don't get some proper rest.
no subject
He finally manages to crack a smile, giving Qubit's shoulder a gentle, playful shove.]
Yeah, yeah. I can't even argue right now, man. I don't have the energy to do anything but rest.
[In fact he's got a perfectly good bed right here, and he feels like a pile of dead butts anyway, so he's just going to curl up right here and hope that the room stops spinning.]
Sorry about havin' a total breakdown on you. Can't say that was my proudest moment.
no subject
He waves off Peter's apology - after all, he also had kind of a breakdown there, and is also embarrassed about it. (Because he still wants to be seen as a Tough Logical Masculine Man, for some reason, and his extreme, turbulent emotional life is not exactly conducive to that image.) ]
Nothing to be sorry for. There's no shame in reaching out. [ - he said, packing it down for another 15 months. ]
no subject
That goes both ways, just so you know.
[they're both worn out, man. They could both use a shoulder to lean on even if they are both Tough Logical Masculine Men. But alas, Peter's head has hit the pillow and he is already well on his way to sleeping off this turbo flu.]
no subject
It's not the same.
He lies down, and in seconds he's dead asleep, too. Sweet dreams, nerds. ]