[openish] where do you go with your broken heart in tow?

[benhargreeves]

Who: Ben + anyone
What: A catch-all
When: November through December
Where: Anywhere!

[ Poke me at platoapproved#9602 on discord or platoapproved on plurk to plot something, or feel free to leave a starter!]

Comments

[benhargreeves]

[ Ben is grateful for it in ways he wouldn't even know how to start putting into words, that Klaus stays with him, near and quiet and listening. Everything that he says back, too, comes from a place of knowing Ben so well, understanding him and his fears and what he needs to hear.

Ben's really glad he has a brother like Klaus, right now.

Klaus does know him too well - that impulse in him to hide, to ignore the things that frighten him and hope they merely go away. Ben feels a twinge of guilt when he tells him not to do that which, yeah, Ben might have otherwise been tempted to do. And Klaus is right, too, about why Ben is on a different timeline than most people.

Until, that is, they get to the last part. And all Klaus's advice is sound, and good - probably being with Dave had taught him that. But he's missed the mark. Ben curls forward, running hands through his hair, fingernails digging into the back of his neck, his distress eloquent even without him saying a word. ]

No, I mean-

[ It's a conundrum, because Klaus is the person Ben is closest to in the world, but also, he's his sibling. Not that that had ever stopped Klaus from being perfectly blunt about his own sex life, but it's another matter, for Ben. Still he manages: ]

You know I haven't. Been with anybody. What if - he is into me, and things get- y'know, and we're- and something goes wrong, and I. Hurt him.

[ Ben presses a hand into his stomach, over the portal. If Ben were thinking more clearly, he would remember that Cole has been able to communicate with the creatures on the other side of the portal, is on good terms with them. He would recognize this as an irrational fear. But it's an old irrational fear, stuck deep in his mind like a splinter. This is new territory. What if it turns out he's a monster after all, and this is the way he finally finds that out for sure?

He turns, meeting Klaus's gaze, eyes wet with tears that he's stubbornly managing not to shed - but only just. Reggie might not be here, like Klaus had said - but in a way, he still is. The echoes of him are there in Ben's mind, telling him he is a nauseating, unnatural creature that doesn't deserve happiness. ]