redshiftlogs | [openish] where do you go with your broken heart in tow?

It takes Ben a moment to realize that Cole doesn't just mean that he's never been to a hot springs before. He means hot water, full stop. As in any hot water. Which is even more surprising than when Ben found out Cole had never had ice cream. Not a single hot shower, not once in his life.

And Ben knows that Thedas is different. That Cole's a spirit and that the human Cole had lived a life of deprivation and misery. But still.

Hot showers had been such an important thing for him, growing up. His favorite part of any mission, if it could indeed be called a part of it, was when they got back home and he got to be alone, away from his siblings and his father and even Grace, to pull off his uniform and get into the shower and wash away all the blood, the bits of bone or viscera he sometimes found in his hair. It had been a daydream of his, so strong and so frequently reinforced that it probably bordered on an actual delusion at times, that when he showered off after a mission, he wasn't just getting clean, but that the water was erasing anything that had just happened - anything he'd done - from ever having happened.

Some missions, the only way he could keep going was inventing imaginary countdowns, to when it would be over and he would be home and he would turn on the taps to let the water heat up until he could see steam billowing over the shower curtain. Ben and Klaus both used water to cope, but Klaus wanted to be submerged, in the quiet underneath the water. Ben wanted it passing over him and gone, taking whatever was on him away, and the top layer of himself along with it.

So to think that Cole has never felt that...

Ben doesn't know if he'll enjoy it the same way a human would, but it's worth trying, because what if Cole does love it? What if it's his favorite thing and he's never had a chance to know that before now?

With a sudden surge of energy and decision, Ben makes up his mind. He grabs a pair of towels - no robes, because he wants to try swimming, and because he's trying to push his boundaries a little - and then, impulsively, a heap of the various little bottles of salts and oils and bubbles and whatever else they've got in there. He clutches all of it to his chest, turning to Cole with a smile.

"Let's try it. Together."

Might as well follow the Skyhold customs, since he doesn't know any other ones; Ben heads on to the hot springs, finds a decent spot near the water to set down the towels and - wow he really did grab a lot of those little bottles, huh? Then, it's just a matter of getting undressed, but he feels propelled on the momentum of wanting this to be a shared experience. So he undresses quickly, without waiting and letting doubts catch up to him. He is, indeed, uneasy and awkward, but he is also full of determination not to let that stop him.

Cole is busy just letting senses and impressions wash over him like waves, surging and ebbing, good moments, bad feelings washed clean with hot water and Cole thinks that this will be good, like ice cream was good.

"Okay!" He follows after Ben, flickering from side to side in wisps of smoke, not because he's distressed but with sheer excitement. Ben's excitement is, for Cole, contagious.

When they reach the edge of a pool, Cole sets down his hat and then starts peeling off layers. He's completely unashamed, even as he bares more skin, revealing a surprisingly toned and muscled form under the shapeless clothes, marked with the faint scars expected from a childhood of deprivation and no modern medical knowledge (but some magical healing).

Naked, Cole looks to Ben, canting his head. "Do we just walk into it?"

Ben is not quite so naturally unashamed, but he is managing a careful neutrality and nonchalance over the whole thing that is honestly pretty big progress, for him. Once he's gotten his clothes all folded and tucked on a flat rock safely a little ways from the water's edge, he glances over to Cole. It's odd, seeing him without the hat, but good, too. He doesn't look anywhere below Cole's collarbones for now because, even if Cole wouldn't give a shit, some things are just ingrained.

"I think so? Maybe there are steps... Ah!"

He spots a place in the spring that is clearly meant to make getting in easier, with some flat rocks arranged in descent into the water. Ben, a little jittery, but happy, too, goes first. The temperature of the water is just right; Ben sighs in contentment, moves in until it's up to his chest and stops, turning back to face Cole.

"C'mon, it's awesome!"

Cole looks at the water, briefly unsure, but then Ben slips in and his delight pours over Cole, making him relax and come over to the same entry point.

He puts a foot in first, giving a sharp, small inhale. He moves in slowly and steadily, heat flushing his pale skin fast, up into warm pinks. "It's... not like a lake. At all. Or the ocean." He keeps moving in until he's chest deep and then he takes a deep breath and sinks under the water entirely.

He doesn't need to breathe, exactly, but it's what you do when you go underwater. And the heat-

It's so unlike anything. It's like being held wrapped in arms and legs and senses and kept soft and warm and safe. He can feel the clean heat of it reaching over his scalp, through his hair, not hot like being in the desert, prickling and uncomfortable, but soothing.

He surfaces after a long, long moment, water streaming down his face and neck and a bright smile. "It's amazing!"

Ben doesn't have Cole's abilities, so he has to watch him to get his reaction to the hot springs. He notices, this time, that Cole definitely has more muscle than he'd been expecting (and really doesn't that just go to show exactly what he'd been thinking, earlier, because he's sure Cole didn't have any expectations one way or another about Ben's muscles or any other detail like that). But Ben sets that thought aside, instead, giving Cole a bright and encouraging smile.

And Cole seems to warm up (ha) to the experience quickly, even ducking his head under the water. Ben laughs softly then, looking down at him under the surface, his pale hair drifting out in the water. He feels just the tiniest prickle of worry when Cole doesn't come up quickly, then realizes it's probably not a problem? He's a spirit, right, so... he might not need to breathe at all. But even having had that logical thought, Ben keeps hovering nearby, just in case. And there is definite relief in him when Cole comes up again. A relief that becomes joy, huge and energetic, when he sees how Cole is smiling.

"Isn't it?"

Ben submerges himself, this time, just for a few seconds, to get his hair wet. When he comes up again he pushes it back from his face, and that nightmare is the furthest thing from his mind, now. He had never felt warm, as a ghost. Not for a second. There's no questioning it now that he has a tangible body, no questioning that he is not disconnected and alone.

The awkwardness and embarrassment are gone now that he's in the water; why had he even worried in the first place? He was right, knowing this would be easy enough with Cole here. So many things just feel easier with Cole. And better, too. Ben is so happy that he gets to be here as Cole is discovering this.

"I think you can adjust the temperature of the water somewhere, but it's kinda perfect right now."

His own cheeks are beginning to be slightly flushed from the heat, and he can't seem to stop smiling.

Cole sinks into the water again, tipping his head back to let it soak and then straightening up. It might be one of the few times his hair hasn't obscured his face since he got here (since he left Rhys) and while the water has soaked his hair dark, it's apparent that he could probably do with a good scrub down at some point.

"Are baths and showers always like this? Not... cold and scrubbing, rough red raised sharp, clean you up, get going again, can't waste good water on this."

Which might explain his aversion to bathing in general, since it isn't a body shyness.

He shakes his head, splattering water droplets everywhere and giving a genuine giggle of delight.

It is so strange, to easily see so much of Cole's face, without any shadows from that hat, without his hair obscuring his eyes. Ben can actually see the color of them, the shape of Cole's brow and forehead. To Cole, his outside may not matter a great deal. But for someone without Cole's abilities, being able to see his face makes the emotions there all the clearer. And of course, he does not see Cole's face with detached objectivity. It's a face he's seen before - obscured, yes, but seen it - and that he has come to associate with feelings of happiness and friendship and acceptance and support. There are reasons emotional and neurochemical, as well, that seeing Cole's familiar face makes Ben full to bursting with happiness.

"Maybe not always, but yeah, most of the time they are."

He thinks, deliberately this time, of how relieved he'd always felt, being able to scrub himself down after a mission, or washing his hair in the evening after a miserable day. To him, bathing was the opposite of Cole's experience. It was a rare moment of privacy, of physical comfort and indulgence, of being allowed to make decisions for himself, take care of himself.

"It's not a waste, here. There's plenty of water - here and in any of the residential rooms with a shower."

This isn't like the ice cream, where Cole could theoretically be depriving someone else, but letting himself experience something nice. Ben wants to make sure he understands that.

And when Cold shakes water from his hair and giggles like that, Ben feels a dazzling rush of fondness. It's utterly contagious, and he laughs, too, bringing his arms up to block any of those oncoming droplets from hitting his face. Then, a childish impulse seizes him, and he arcs his arm, dragging his hand through the surface of the water at an angle and sending a huge splash of water in Cole's direction. Goading Cole into splashing him back - no competitiveness or hostility to it, just a game, something silly and frivolous.

Cole's eyes are a pale blue. So pale they're almost silver in certain lights. It's likely that his hair is actually a very pale gold, not the darker honey blonde that it often looks under the hat. He has the colouring of nordic lands, little sun for much of the year.

"Yes. It can be shared and no one misses out. I like that." He can have this and no one else misses out because of it. That's lovely. Like sunlight, there's always enough for everyone.

Cole turns to ask ben how washing hair works, but then there's water and he splutters and blinks, stunned and then laughing, pushing water back at Ben.

If that first giggle was wonderful, then the laugh that follows is doubly so. Ben had always relished the moments when he could make Klaus laugh over the last decade and a half, but so often he was doing it out of necessity because things were so bleak and Ben was just trying to help him survive. And this feels... different. Thrilling. Completely addictive. Ben wants to keep making Cole laugh, and smile. He can never seem to get enough of it.

What follows is a brief but energetic splashing war, high-spirited and loud. But there is no one here for them to bother. No one to tell Number Six to stop acting ridiculous. No one to tell Cole something equally awful, to squash the light and joy out of him.

Ben eventually stops splashing back, breaths coming a little quick from all the energetic flailing. He sighs, big and content, and dunks his head beneath the surface once again before he moves over to sit on the bench along the edge of the spring, resting his arms up against the sides. He is silent, but happy. Cole will know how much fun that was for him, how completely comfortable he feels, now. At peace with this place and his own body and Cole being here and all of it. Ben just feels... good. Safe. Whole.

They play.

Even Cole can't find another word for it. They're flicking and splashing and Ben's smiling and laughing and Cole can't stop himself laughing in return and the water is warm over them and

When Ben sinks and relaxes and stop playing, Cole leans into the water and lets himself float, feet touching the stones at the bottom, pushing himself around, head supported in the hot water and chest and shoulders floating comfortably. He'll probably come sit with Ben in a moment, but he likes the way the water holds his weight.

As he is sitting there, watching Cole relax in the water, letting it support him and hold him up, he feels a profound sense of satisfaction. It means something, sharing this experience with Cole, being here to witness his joy. And Ben knows he hasn't really done much. The fact that Cole is here enjoying this hot spring with him is a random series of events, not some thoughtful plan he cooked up in advance. It's because of a bad dream and his neediness and whims and happenstance. But still, he was a little part of bringing this happiness to Cole, and that feels so good he can't even imagine words for it.

He thinks, too, that they could do this again. Come some other night, when everyone else is asleep in their beds. Ben has the sense of a possible future that is full of the sound of Cole laughing and coming to this place together and reading books to him, and obviously it wouldn't be every day, and obviously he doesn't know what dangers might lie in the future or whether they will be ripped from one another by fucked-up circumstances. Ben knows all too well how abruptly it can all end.

But he's not thinking about the possibility of that end, right now. He's thinking about a future that is full of moments like this, and he's so excited about it that he feels like he might burst.

Ben knows that he could sit here for an hour, even two, perfectly silent, and Cole wouldn't mind. It's a rare and wonderful thing, this not feeling obligated to keep up conversation. That they can just be quiet together.

Eventually, he asks:

"Do you think we could come back here again?"

Cole listens to Ben's musings, but he doesn't feel a need to say anything, because Ben is enjoying the silence more than he wants his questions and thoughts addressed. The more time Cole spends with Ben, the more nuanced his understanding becomes.

He likes it.

Ben understands that it isn't just this place that can tear people from one another. Some people fear getting close in case one of them is pulled away again. But Ben understands that life can do that at any moment anyway. All you have is the moment you live in.

"I think we could and should," Cole agrees without lifting his head from the water.

Ben is struck again by how blue Cole's eyes are, how different it is seeing all his face, without the hair and hat in the way. There's a flicker of warm happiness, too. He isn't thinking about it consciously, but it's there. That burst of warmth like a lit match, flaring up the moment he looks at Cole's face.

Grinning, Ben gestures at those bottles he's brought in and suggests, "We could try one of those if you wanted? Not really sure what they do, but it could be fun?"

He also doesn't know whether they'll really affect Cole in the same way they will him. But it's progress in a way just being willing to try. When he'd first arrived at the Anchor, he wouldn't have dared. He was still so paranoid about how any unknown factor might impact his powers. Might impede his ability to hold back those uncontrollable monsters inside him. Except that, by tiny increments, Cole has been peeling away at that thinking. And now, Ben's first thought isn't even how this might inadvertently unleash Them. His first thought is, I wonder if Cole would like it and I could see him smiling again.

And if Ben isn't thinking about Them... Cole's not going to mention Them and remind him.

"Will the book get... wilty?" He knows Dorian yelled a lot about being careful of the books, careful of wet and heat and cold and everything that wasn't the library shelves, kept at a controlled temperature.

"But I'd like that. This. All of it. I like being with you, it makes me happy like nothing has in a long time."

It takes Ben a moment to catch up; but of course, Cole is doing what Cole does, and responding not really to the question he'd asked aloud, but to the deeper desires behind it, to the more sprawling view he'd had of them spending time together. And of course it had all been blurred together in his mind, the coming here and the reading aloud and all of it, that Cole had imagined those things happening at the same time.

Ben laughs, softly - no hint of malice in it, just joy.

"I think it'd probably be a bad idea to bring any books in here. But then again. There's lots of books in the library that are already pretty wilty. Hard to imagine them getting much worse."

But then his breath is catching because Cole is saying he likes being with him, that it makes him happy. And that matters to Ben. That Cole isn't just saying he would come again because it would make Ben happy. But that he's getting something out of it, too. That Ben is making his life a little better, just by being in it.

Ben has no frame of reference for this feeling. For that joy so sharp it almost feels like fear, elation and nerves and bright bubbling restless fullness.

"Yeah... yeah, me too."

The words are so pale and insubstantial and insufficient, compared to what's inside him, but luckily, Cole will know.

It's all so much and he can't seem to stop smiling, and Ben has to dunk his head under the water again, pushing his hair back when he emerges once again. He can hardly believe he felt so miserable just recently, that he'd let a silly dream get him upset, when really... he doesn't think his life has ever been better than this. When has he ever felt so hopeful about the future? When has he ever trusted anyone this much?

"I think we should check out the other parts of the spa, what do you say?"

Cole hums, thinking about some of the books. Some of them are in a pretty beaten condition, steam probably won't do much to hurt them, and being read and handled is better than being left behind.

He straightens up from the water, coming to sit on the edge for a moment, hair slicked back from the water and watches Ben, because yeah, he knows. he knows the feeling and intents that come with simple words. Simple, not insufficient.

"If you want to. I want to be able to get back into the warm after. I like the hot water. Are showers hot like this too?"

"Sure! Absolutely."

Ben is only too happy to agree to come back to the hot spring after, delighted that Cole likes the hot water so much. Although apparently, Cole is under the impression, perhaps, that this is the only part of the spa with hot water? Ben is quick to explain:

"Showers can be as hot as this, or hotter, or colder - you can adjust the temperature of the water whenever you want. And I'm sure the rest of the spa is going to have hot water, too. Well, the sauna part is steam, but that's probably nice, too."

Ben's never actually been in a sauna, himself. Hence why he thought he might go try it with Cole, now.

Though:

"I think there are showers, attached to the different sections... we can go to one of those, first, if you wanted to try one...?"

It really is strange and hilarious, that Cole has never even had a hot shower before. The hot spring is fun, and all, but what would he think about that - the water raining down on him from above, being able to adjust the heat however he wanted...?

"... how can you adjust the heat? Oh... mix of cold and hot, like the mixing of fresh and salt, I think I understand a bit." Ben's knowledge, interposed on his own understanding.

Cole rubs his face, hands coming away a little grimy. "I want to try all of it, but I don't know what all of it is, so you should choose the order." He nods firmly. Decision made.

Ben takes note of the way Cole's hand comes away from his face grimy; it hasn't escaped his notice that Cole is in general a fairly grimy person. He'd never questioned it much because he'd never seen Cole any other way. It's fairly important to Ben, after all, that he not be like those people Cole has mentioned having in his life, who wanted to change him. Ben really does like Cole just how he is. If that means a little uncleanliness, well, it wasn't harming anyone, and Cole himself didn't seem to mind.

Now, though, that he'd heard Cole's description of what washing had been like (at least for the human Cole) - cold and painful and probably a bit humiliating as well - and he also has heard how much Cole likes hot water, he thinks that maybe it's just a case where Cole hasn't really ever had the opportunity to like getting clean.

So, when Cole puts it into Ben's hands to decide first, it's easy enough, making the call. Shower first, then the Turkish bath (and who even knows what that's gonna be like), then the sauna, then back here if that's still what Cole wants.

Ben gets out of the water, grabs one of those fluffy towels and pats himself down just enough that he won't be dripping before he wraps it around his waist. He knows, logically, the chances anyone else will appear in the spa tonight are next to nothing, that Cole would almost certainly warn him if someone was coming, but even so... he can't really bring himself to walk around naked. As soon as Cole is out, as well, Ben tosses the other towel to him, with a small grin.

Once Cole seems ready, Ben leads the way back towards the area adjacent to the hot springs for showering off. He supposes they were meant to go there, first? He's not really sure, whatever, they're playing fast and loose with all the rules here, tonight. As they're going, he wonders how to ask what he wants to ask.

"People in Thedas... how do they typically take care of their hair?"

I.e. is Ben going to have to explain shampoo? He has a feeling he might need to do that.

Cole didn't bathe because most of his experiences were deeply traumatising and unpleasant. Human Cole had little in the way of comforts and no luxuries and spirit Cole had had no better time of it. The decontamination showers were his most recent experience.

He follows Ben, catching the towel and watching what Ben did to learn how to use it. Towels were another luxury that weren't available to Cole in any stage of life.

"I don't know," Cole admits. He doesn't wrap the towel around him, he more holds it in front of himself and trails along, wiping his arms after a moment. "Dorian had lots of bottles with things that had herbal smells. Varric had bars of soap and light, bubbly stones."

Ben's going to need to explain shampoo.

It's interesting to Ben - there was a time when the way Cole was watching him would've made him uncomfortable. Being watched, as all those hidden cameras had so vividly reminded him, is kind of a Thing, for him. But he doesn't mind it, now. Not in this context, not when it's Cole. Because Ben knows that he's just observing, picking up cues what to do, himself. He's not evaluating. Looking for weaknesses or flaws.

"Bubbly stones? Huh."

Who knows what that might be? Allison might know. Probably the hit trend in Hollywood, honestly. But that's a tangent for another time.

Ben takes his time, once they reach the shower area, looking over the options for shampoo and other things. A hint of awkwardness has crept into the back of his mind, as he's staring at the shelf of varied hair care products. Should he... offer to wash Cole's hair for him? To demonstrate how by washing his own, first? Or take a shower in one of those communal ones next to him, showing him as he goes?

It's less that any of the options sound bad at all, or even that he thinks Cole will object to any of them. But somewhere in his mind, it's occurring to him that all of this might sound... weird, if anyone heard about it. Not quite entirely normal, in the way that the two of them just going into the hot spring together was. He doesn't know why it's different, when it's a shower, but... it is, somehow.

The moment of hesitation is brief, however. As soon as Ben identifies that feeling of shy unease and self-consciousness, he shoves it aside. How stupid is all that? Isn't he past that, that wanting to be normal? He's never been normal and he never will be, and Cole deserves to have somebody show him it doesn't have to be awful, getting clean.

He makes his selections almost at random, grabbing down a loofah, some body wash in a little bottle, similarly single-use size containers of shampoo and conditioner, hands them all to Cole in a heap before grabbing the same for himself. His heart is still beating so quickly, his face hot. He knows, Cole will have picked up on at least some of the emotional undercurrent of that, but he pushes on through.

"I can show you what to do. Showers are- showers are really good, and I think you're going to like them a lot."

"Mm. Pew-meece?" Recalling the word from memory takes effort, especially with no one there to pull it from.

And his watching is benign. He just wants to do things right, he's learning from what Ben does, by observation.

"We don't have to, if you feel strange about it," Cole offers. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable. It should be nice, feel comfortable." He lingers back a little bit, rocking on his feet.

"Oh! Pumice! Yeah, that's definitely a thing."

Has Ben got any idea exactly what it's for? No. But he definitely knows it's some kind of bathing rock people use. His general rule is that if Klaus didn't talk about it or shoplift it regularly, he's probably not all that familiar with it. Maybe not exactly the best cleanliness mentor, here.

But Cole's reassurance that he doesn't need to do this only strengthens Ben's resolve. He shakes his head, squaring his shoulders. It's much easier, letting go of that vague, imagined disapproval or curiosity from nameless other people, when confronted with Cole's immediate and real hesitation right in front of him.

"No, I want to. I was just-" Ben has got no words for that unexpected knot of self-consciousness he'd tripped over, though. For whatever vague stirrings in the back of his mind made him think there might be some sort of imaginary line they were close to crossing. So he shakes his head, "Doesn't matter. I want to."

He heads towards those communal showers, confident that any of his lingering unease will go away once he's actually doing the thing, not just thinking about it - the same way his temporary unease with the hot spring had gone away. And indeed, as soon as the two of them are standing in front of the taps, and Ben's explaining, the self-consciousness begins to subside beneath eagerness to help.

"So, you've got this tap for hot and this one for cold, you just turn them on and adjust them around until it's the temperature you like."

And he shows Cole, taking off his towel and hanging it on the nearby wall hook, standing out of the way of the spray and testing it with his hand until it's the right amount of hot without being boiling. Then he steps under the spray, spluttering a little in surprise at the water pressure and then laughing at himself, at this whole ridiculous situation. But it's a good kind of laughter.

It's easier, after that, with the background din of the spray, to walk Cole through it, the basic steps of lathering up the loofah with the soap and getting himself clean. Still strange, to think that such a basic comfort had been denied to Cole all those years. Ben takes his time with it, hoping to show by example it doesn't have to be something hard and quick and unpleasant. He doesn't look at Cole, though, except a lightning-quick glance now and then to make sure he was doing alright. Even if Cole wouldn't mind, it just feels... intrusive. Like he would be taking advantage of something.

"This stuff actually smells great, I'm totally stealing a couple of bottles of this when we go."

Edited 2019-11-29 08:22 (UTC)

"You think that other people might think strangely of it if they knew. but they won't. I can keep secrets, if this is a secret. And I don't really see a reason to share it, anyway. This is our time, not theirs."

Cole's agreeing; what others think doesn't matter. What Ben's comfortable with is what matters.

Again, Cole copies. He hangs up his towel, plays with the water temperature and then steps under it and back out, shaking his head and sneezing. "It's not like rain at all! It's... forceful. With intent." His hand comes up to skin over the showerhead and then looks back at Ben, watching way he lathers up and then copies him again.

There's another sneeze when he promptly brings it to his face to sniff; bubbles go everywhere at the sneeze and then Cole laughs, foam covering his hands and nose.

He wonders - is this a secret? Should it be? In Ben's life up until now, secrets were never about good things that made him happy. Secrets were awful lumps of unspoken words that sat in his throat, growing and growing until they blocked anything at all from coming out. He is sure he must have, at some point, but Ben can't remember the last time he had a good secret. A delicious one.

It would be different, if Cole hadn't offered so freely. Ben knows how honest Cole often is - it's one of the things he really appreciates and is drawn to about him. So asking him unprompted to go against that, just so Ben could avoid some awkwardness? He wouldn't be able to do it. But Cole had volunteered. And his pale eyes, when Ben meets them, look sincere, unbothered.

Tentatively, Ben nods. If Cole is sure. If it won't hurt him, to keep this private, just their time, not for anyone else...

"I think they've got showers like that." Ben is talking a bit louder to be heard over the water, and he can feel the tension going out of him at that familiar pressure, the comfortable routine of standing under the spray, "Where it just drips down more like rain. I think it's supposed to be really fancy?"

To Ben, it just sounds unpleasant and at best, tedious. If he wanted to be rained on he would just go out in the rain...

When Cole sneezes that second time, Ben has to look over, then. As soon as he sees Cole with foam all over his nose and the bottom of his face and his hands, he laughs, the kind of laughter you can feel in your stomach, doubling over, one hand set against the wall to support himself. It's just... so cute. There's no other word for it.

"Oh my god, that... was priceless...!"

It takes him a few moments to recover, still bursting into random little giggles now and then. There went the last of his nerves and reservation - how easily, Cole helps him to shed all that. Ben is careful to show Cole how to scrub properly - not to the point where it hurts, but enough to get the not inconsiderable amount of grime off him, even his back and under his fingernails.

Once Cole is ready, Ben says:

"Right so shampoo is like... special soap for your hair, you're going to put it in your hands and rub it in, and it'll later up. But try not to get it in your eyes, or it'll sting... probably."

It's hard to anticipate the ways in which Cole's body will deviate from a human's, because he's a spirit. He had sneezed, because of the bodywash - but it's not like he eats or sleeps or needs to breathe, so it's all sort of up in the air. But just in case it would sting, Ben wants to avoid that eventuality.

And, as before, he goes ahead and demonstrates first, shampooing his hair thoroughly before glancing over to check Cole's doing the same.

Maybe it's silly, to be feeling so happy over all this. Maybe people would laugh or raise their eyebrows if they knew. But Ben is happy, so... fuck it.

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